Nun Trampled Near Scapular Section During “O’Brien’s Church Supplies” Black Friday Sale

Biloxi, MS––An O’Brien’s Church Supplies shopper was injured earlier today after an out of control mob of frenzied shoppers smashed through the Biloxi store’s front doors and trampled her, police said. The Black Friday stampede plunged the religious good store into chaos as hundreds of people desperately tried to get their hands on the newly-released Sixfold Scapular,... Read More

Man May Have Accidentally Skipped Bead; Begins Decade Over Again

Bridgeport, CT––After having lost himself in a daydream while saying the rosary earlier this morning, 34-year-old Bridgeport resident Luke Spencer awoke unsure of whether his thumb may have accidentally skipped a couple beads while simultaneously saying his rosary and dreaming about Japanese Snow Monkeys bathing in the hot springs of the mountainous region of Nagano, Japan. “At... Read More

Biden and Ryan End Debate With Recitation Of Rosary

Kevin Lamarque / Reuters Danville, KY––After a heated and combative debate at Centre College last night, Vice President Joe Biden and Paul Ryan took to their knees to say and reflect on the Luminous Mysteries of the Rosary. It was the first time in history that two Roman Catholic vice presidential candidates shared the stage for a debate, and as expected, the two put their differences aside... Read More