Pope Francis Bows To Refrigerator, Houseplant
VATICAN CITY–As head of state at the Vatican, as well as leader of the world’s 1.2 billion Catholics, Pope Frances broke protocol yet again this morning when he bowed to his houseplant moments before watering it. Francis, who has made ignoring protocol and tradition a trademark of his papacy, went on to bow to his refrigerator moments before extending his hand to open it. “This... Read More
Pope Francis Calls Zack Snyder To Complain About Choice Of Ben Affleck For Batman
Hollywood, CA––”Hello, it’s Pope Francis,” were the first words spoken during a conversation in which His Holiness telephoned Zack Snyder, director of the upcoming film “Man of Steel 2.” “Hello Your Holiness,” answered a dazed Snyder, no stranger to celebrities but still star struck to be speaking to the Holy Father, the Vicar of Christ on earth. “Listen,... Read More
First Ever “World Geriatric Day” To Take Place In Boca Raton
August 11, 2013 by Admin
Filed under Parish Life
Pope Francis announced this morning that the location of the first ever World Geriatric Day will take place in Boca Raton, Florida next year. Just days before his arrival in Krakow, Francis told reporters that “These kids already got the idea,” and went on to express his desire to reach their grandparents, which comes as welcomed news for many elderly Catholics who have felt marginalized... Read More
Pope Francis Declares Homosexuality Obligatory For All Catholics, New York Times Reports
New York, NY––During an interview given while walking from his airplane arriving from Brazil to the 1983 Ford Escort awaiting to take him to the Vatican, His Holiness Pope Francis declared the new ex-cathedra Catholic dogma that all members of the Catholic Church must become homosexual, the New York Times reported. This declaration is said by the New York Times to have sent shock waves through... Read More
One Million Youth Visit Rio To See Pope On Large Screen
July 27, 2013 by Admin
Filed under Mass, Uncategorized
Rio de Janerio, Brazil––Media sources confirm that nearly one million Catholic young people from nearly every country in the world put aside their lives and traveled to Brazil to catch a glimpse of the Holy Father Pope Francis projected onto one of the large screens set up for the papal Mass culminating the World Youth Day celebrations. “The faithfulness and energy of the youth of the... Read More