Last Remaining Christian Living In Jerusalem Excited About Papal Visit

JERUSALEM–Just a day before Pope Francis makes his first Papal Visit to the Holy Land, Jerusalem’s sole Christian, Azmi Habibi, announced that he had been chosen to attend the Papal Mass on Sunday. “I could not believe it when I heard it,” Habibi said via Skype this morning. “The church is going to be packed with Muslims and Jews. I think it would be nice to have a Christian in... Read More

Many Disappointed First-Ever Black, Jewish, Woman, Lesbian Pope Not Elected

  A Catholic Argentinian Man VATICAN–Sadness and a general sense of ennui slowly crept through media outlets, liberal households, and university campuses Wednesday, as the realization became more and more apparent that the Catholic Church had failed yet again to elect its first-ever black, Jewish, woman, lesbian Pope. “I just don’t understand how they can keep screwing up... Read More