Leaked Documents Reveal NSA Spied On Prayers Of Faithful

According to a new report out this week in the Italian magazine Panorama, the NSA may have spied on the prayers of millions of faithful during the last Papal Election. The report states that the agency, which is embroiled in a number of scandals, is believed to have been intercepting prayers within the hearts and minds of millions of Catholics made to God during the conclave that saw Cardinal... Read More

Many Disappointed First-Ever Black, Jewish, Woman, Lesbian Pope Not Elected

  A Catholic Argentinian Man VATICAN–Sadness and a general sense of ennui slowly crept through media outlets, liberal households, and university campuses Wednesday, as the realization became more and more apparent that the Catholic Church had failed yet again to elect its first-ever black, Jewish, woman, lesbian Pope. “I just don’t understand how they can keep screwing up... Read More

Expert Analysis From Community College World Religions Teacher On CNN

Royal Oak, MI–Just minutes after black smoke rose above the Sistine Chapel Tuesday, World Religions Teacher at Royal Oak Community College Stacy Martinez appeared on CNN to give her opinion regarding the failure of the first ballot. The 57-year-old community college teacher told Wolf Blitzer that the failure of the 115 Cardinals participating in the conclave could be a sign of disunity... Read More

Report: Mahony’s Pretty Much Got This Pope Thing In The Bag

“The only question that remains is what name he shall take.” VATICAN CITY–The Italian Newspaper La Rupubblica is reporting today that a member of the Vatican Curia confirmed to them that, barring a shocking upset, the former head of the Los Angeles Diocese Cardinal Roger Mahony has all but locked up his spot as the Catholic Church’s 266th Bishop of Rome. “An anonymous member... Read More