People Preparing McCarrick Report Same People As Counting Votes In Nevada
After days of ballot counting in Nevada, officials from the state revealed earlier this morning that they were, in fact, the same people that were... Read More
Mass
Questions Arise After Mother Neglects To Remove Hysterical Child From Mass
Eugene, OR––In the immediate aftermath of the Mass in which parishioner Heather Thomas neglected to remove her crying child to the cry-room during the homily, family of the 26-year-old mother were quick to blame the non-removal of the... Read More
Homily Never Going To End, Sources Confirm
Galveston, TX–Multiple sources at Prince of Peace Catholic Church in Galveston, Texas have just confirmed that parish pastor Fr. Robert Warner is “never going to wrap up his freaking homily.” 29-year-old mother of three Katrin... Read More
Folk Mass Band Upset Over Masses Interrupting Their Concerts
Yonkers, NY––Blake Jennings, lead guitarist at St. Therese Parish in Yonkers, New York is outraged over what he calls “years of concerts being interrupted by the Mass.” The 56-year-old accountant and father of three has played... Read More
After 26 Weeks Of Anticipation, 27th Sunday In Ordinary Time Just Around Corner
Thousands flock to St. Peter’s to reserve spots for Mass during the 27th Sunday in Ordinary Time. The Christian West––After 26 weeks of eager anticipation, it was reported today that hundreds of millions of Catholics from across the... Read More
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Libs & Trads
New Orlando Parish To Be Named “Our Lady Of Good Intentions”
Orlando, FL––After months of debate, officials have confirmed that a new Catholic church slated to be built this summer has officially been named Our Lady of... Read More
Report: LA Religious Education Congress Nothing But Big Fat Load Of Bull
Despite positive reviews from the committee overseeing this year’s Los Angeles Religious Education Congress, a new report out today by EOTT found that virtually... Read More
Liberal Catholic University To Replace Church With Massive Cafeteria
Miami, FL––To help accommodate the diverse palates of Mater Dei University’s large Catholic student-body, President Jon Heinz has announced plans to... Read More
Cardinal Says Women’s Ordination Makes Sense Because Church Could Pay Women Less To Minister
Cardinal Sean O’Malley told reporters earlier today that his recent interview with 60 Minutes was difficult because he did not have time to fully delve... Read More
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Politics
As Israel And Palestine Brace For War, Vatican Set To March On Jerusalem
TEL AVIV––After days of Israeli bombings in and around Gaza, Hamas... Read More
Head Of Opus Dei Reaffirms Prelature Not A Cult
ROME––Bishop Javier Echevarria Rodriguez, head of the Prelature of... Read More
Kanye West Meets With Pope Francis To Discuss Liturgy
Kanye West performing at Lollapalooza on April 3, 2011 in Chile.Photo credit:... Read More
CNN Forced To Neglect Coverage Of March For Life Due To Breaking Footage Of Dolphin Stranded In NYC Canal
Atlanta, GA––CNN PR director Richard Seymour apologized to... Read More
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Vatican
Francis Condemns Magnum Principium, Begins Saying Latin Mass After Hitting Head During Popemobile Accident
Image:Zebra48bo Days after the Pontiff sustained injuries after hitting his... Read More
Burke Named Head Of Vatican’s Congregation Of Janitorial Services
The Vatican announced today that Pope Francis has named Cardinal Raymond Burke to... Read More
Man Whose Every Word Is Misrepresented Thinks 12,000 Word Interview A Good Idea
VATICAN––It was reported earlier this week that an outgoing Argentinian born... Read More
Benedict Confirms Epic Kegger At Apostolic Palace During Francis Visit To U.S.
VATICAN– Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI confirmed Monday that he will make his... Read More