People Preparing McCarrick Report Same People As Counting Votes In Nevada

After days of ballot counting in Nevada, officials from the state revealed earlier this morning that they were, in fact, the same people that were... Read More

Mass

“We’re Taking All The Good Seats On Christmas, And You’re Gonna Stand There And Like It,” Nominal Catholics Report

YOUR PARISH––”We’re taking every pew and every freaking seat in the house tonight and tomorrow, and you’re just gonna have to stand there and like it,” bitter Christmas/Easter Catholics told the nation’s practicing... Read More

One Million Youth Visit Rio To See Pope On Large Screen

Rio de Janerio, Brazil––Media sources confirm that nearly one million Catholic young people from nearly every country in the world put aside their lives and traveled to Brazil to catch a glimpse of the Holy Father Pope Francis projected... Read More

Folk Mass Band Upset Over Masses Interrupting Their Concerts

Yonkers, NY––Blake Jennings, lead guitarist at St. Therese Parish in Yonkers, New York is outraged over what he calls “years of concerts being interrupted by the Mass.” The 56-year-old accountant and father of three has played... Read More

Pope Francis To Defrock 300 Priests For Failing To Say ‘Good Morning’ At The Beginning Of Mass

VATICAN––Shortly after it was revealed that his predecessor, Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI, defrocked 400 priests for sexual abuse of minors, Pope Francis decreed the immediate removal of priestly faculties for 300 priests from Europe and... Read More

View All Articles in this Category...

Libs & Trads

Knights Of Columbus Amassing Troops In Preparation For Vatican Takeover Of Malta

Tensions have escalated between conservative and liberal Catholics today as Knights of Columbus members amassed on Malta’s border, which was recently annexed... Read More

Jesus Assumes New Role As Savior Emeritus After Catholic Blogger Takes Over Task Of Saving Church From Francis

Catholic blogger Nicholas Robison, best known for his blog, More Catholic Than Jesus, announced today that he has officially assumed the role of Savior of the world,... Read More

New Poll Shows 50% Of Catholics Disagree With Jesus’ Stance On Gay Marriage

Novi, MI––A new poll out today shows that about half of Catholics in America still disagree with the Second Person of the Trinity’s stance on gay marriage.... Read More

Nation’s Catholics Demand Better Catechesis To Better Understand What Teachings To Ignore

Washington, DC––Thousands of the nation’s ill-catechized Catholics protested outside the USCCB headquarters in Washington, DC last night, demanding better... Read More

View All Articles in this Category...

Politics

Vatican Investigating Possible Russian Orthodox Hack Of 2013 Papal Elections

In a surprise press conference today, Monsignor Buonarroti, Head of the... Read More

Audience Of Undecideds Patiently Await Good Zinger To Decide Their Vote

Mike Segar/Reuters After patiently enduring a 90-minute presidential debate... Read More

Francis’ General Audience Address Bears Striking Resemblance To Melania Trump Speech

Image: Mark Nozell (Flikr) A number of paragraphs from Pope Francis’... Read More

Catholic Democrats Vote In Referendum To Secede From Catholicism

Washington—Catholic Democrats voted to secede from the Catholic Church... Read More

View All Articles in this Category...

Vatican

Use Of Cell Phones At Mass A “Very Ugly Thing,” Pope Tweets During Mass

  Pope Francis took to Twitter on Wednesday afternoon to chastise some in the... Read More

Pope Francis To Allow Contraception For Rabbits, Media Reporting

Just days after Pope Francis made statements supporting the Church’s ban... Read More

Pope Francis Pets Tamed SSPX Priest During Vatican Jubilee For Travelling Clerics

Credit: Malacañang Photo Bureau (News Brief) Pope Francis pet a tamed Society of... Read More

Vatican Picks Up Free Agent Tim Tebow

VATICAN––Last year, after being released by his second NFL team, Tim Tebow sat... Read More

View All Articles in this Category...