People Preparing McCarrick Report Same People As Counting Votes In Nevada

After days of ballot counting in Nevada, officials from the state revealed earlier this morning that they were, in fact, the same people that were... Read More

Mass

Rookie Monk Out For Advent Season With High Tonsure Sprain

    St. Louis rookie Augustinian Brother Ambrose will be sidelined two to three weeks with a high tonsure sprain, The Augustinian Daily is reporting. Ambrose was injured during last Sunday’s Vesper hour after bowing too fast. “I... Read More

Android Priests Being Developed To Help Say Mass, Hear Confessions

Prototype clergydroid Fr. SRT4-11392 celebrating its first wedding ceremony. Vatican––The Vatican has confirmed reports today that an agreement has been reached with the International Federation of Robotics (IFR) to begin development of... Read More

Folk Mass Band Upset Over Masses Interrupting Their Concerts

Yonkers, NY––Blake Jennings, lead guitarist at St. Therese Parish in Yonkers, New York is outraged over what he calls “years of concerts being interrupted by the Mass.” The 56-year-old accountant and father of three has played... Read More

Irish Priests To Extend Confession Times To 8 Hours A Day Because Of “Gargantuan” Number Of Penitents

DUBLIN––At the annual conference of the Association of Catholic Priests in Dublin, pastors from across Ireland gathered to voice their concerns about the “gargantuan” number of Catholics going to confession. “This is a full... Read More

View All Articles in this Category...

Libs & Trads

San Francisco Catholics Petition God To Remove Jesus From Trinity

In an unprecedented move, more than 100 prominent San Francisco based Roman Catholics signed a petition and ran a full-page ad Friday calling on God to remove Jesus... Read More

Catholics For Choice Asks Vatican To Allow Abortions In Cases of Rape, Incest, Impending Prom

The pro-choice organization Catholics for Choice today sent a request to the Vatican asking them to ease restrictions on abortion in cases of rape, incest, and impending... Read More

Protestants Worldwide Venerate Statue Of Martin Luther In Honor Of Reformation Day

Image_Jorge Royan   Protestants from across the globe flocked to Wittenberg, Germany Tuesday to venerate a statue of Martin Luther in honor of the 500th anniversary... Read More

Daylight Savings News: Sedevacantist Family Moves Clocks Back Seven Centuries

After having set the family clock back seven centuries for daylight savings this past weekend, patriarch of a local sedevacantist family told EOTT this morning... Read More

View All Articles in this Category...

Politics

New Archbishop of Canterbury Makes Compelling Case For Gay Marriage

ENGLAND–The Most Reverend Justin Welby was formally enthroned earlier... Read More

Chicago School Board Bans Crosses And Lower Case T’s

In the midst of the political firestorm regarding Montgomery Elementary... Read More

Vatican Pressured To Declare Milo Yiannopoulos Confessor And White Martyr

Image:Official Leweb Photos Several high ranking officials of... Read More

White Supremacist Catholic Really Hoping That Heaven Is Segregated

  Cradle Catholic and longtime white supremacist Jacob Baton told... Read More

View All Articles in this Category...

Vatican

CDF Directs Enthusiasts Not To Host Bigfoot “Seers”

Bear Valley, CA–At the direction of the California Department of Forestry... Read More

Pope Sees Own Shadow; Predicts Six More Decades Of Francis Papacy

  The world’s most famous pope foresees no early end to his papacy. The Pope’s... Read More

Blase Cupich Denies Allegations He Is Sane

Image: Goat_Girl   Cardinal Blase Cupich responded to an anonymous letter earlier... Read More

Report: Recent Vatican Bank Scandal Just What Church Needs Right Now

The Vatican Bank. Vatican City–A new report out today shows that the most recent... Read More

View All Articles in this Category...