People Preparing McCarrick Report Same People As Counting Votes In Nevada

After days of ballot counting in Nevada, officials from the state revealed earlier this morning that they were, in fact, the same people that were... Read More

Mass

Questions Arise After Mother Neglects To Remove Hysterical Child From Mass

Eugene, OR––In the immediate aftermath of the Mass in which parishioner Heather Thomas neglected to remove her crying child to the cry-room during the homily, family of the 26-year-old mother were quick to blame the non-removal of the... Read More

Priest Magician Performs Folk Mass Illusion; Makes Parishioners Disappear

Las Vegas, NV––Citing a large demand for his Folk Mass illusion, part-time magician Fr. George Richmond of Las Vegas, Nevada told reporters Sunday that he would begin to perform the trick every Sunday at 9:00 am. “I remember last... Read More

The “Brown Note” Proven True Seconds After “Gather Us In” Begins

The infrasonic sound that some have said causes people to lose control of their bowels was proven true just seconds after the hymn Gather Us In began last Sunday. Director of Acoustic Resonance and Church Worship at the Vatican Michelle Klinsmann... Read More

Maestro Who Conducts Symphony With Back Facing Audience Labelled Radical Traditionalist

After conducting his first symphony since being named Maestro of the New Mexico Philharmonic, Chinese-born Li Wei Chen has been under heavy scrutiny from longtime patrons for conducting Beethoven’s famous 9th Symphony while facing... Read More

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Libs & Trads

New App Allows User To Locate Where Least Crappy Homily Going To Be Delivered In Area

The Vatican announced this morning that they have launched “CrapHom,” a new app for iPhone and Android that allows Catholics to view which local parishes will... Read More

Dissident Theologian Hans Kung Petitions Pope To Reconsider Dogma Of Christ Resurrection

Image: Wikipedia Commons Famous Swiss theologian Hans Küng has reportedly sent a letter to Pope Francis, asking him to reconsider the Church’s stance on the Resurrection... Read More

Müller To Build Vatican II Theme Park

VATICAN–Speaking to the press Wednesday afternoon, Prefect of the Congregation of the Doctrine of Faith Archbishop Gerhard Ludwig Müller announced plans... Read More

Diversity The Greatest Moral Virtue, New Study Finds

According to a new study out today by Georgetown University’s Department of Theology, the theological and moral virtues are no longer the only virtues for attaining... Read More

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Politics

Local Priest Approves Transgender Confessionals

Pastor of St. Vitus Catholic Church Father David Hitchens said Wednesday... Read More

Chicago Diocese Votes To Leave USCCB; Cupich Steps Down

Image: Goat_Girl Blase Cupich has resigned as Bishop of the Archdiocese... Read More

Thousands Sign Petition Calling For Immediate Canonization Of Harambe

Animal rights activists have created an online petition asking the Congregation... Read More

World Must Choose Between Excommunicating And Canonizing Covington Teens, With No Other Options

      Students from Covington Catholic high school located... Read More

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Vatican

Pope Retracts Punch In The Face Remark; Says He Would Kick Them In Nuts

En route to the Philippines from Sri Lanka yesterday, Pope Francis said that he... Read More

Pope Francis Seen Walking Around The Vatican Carrying Bloody, Barbed Wire Baseball Bat

Rumors out of Rome began swirling yesterday after Pope Francis was seen walking... Read More

Vatican Announces New Three-Strikes Excommunication Policy

  The Vatican has announced today that beginning next year, a new three-strikes... Read More

Pope Francis Not Sure How To Make Sense Of What He Just Said

VATICAN–Speaking to pilgrims during his weekly Wednesday audience yesterday,... Read More

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