People Preparing McCarrick Report Same People As Counting Votes In Nevada

After days of ballot counting in Nevada, officials from the state revealed earlier this morning that they were, in fact, the same people that were... Read More

Mass

The “Brown Note” Proven True Seconds After “Gather Us In” Begins

The infrasonic sound that some have said causes people to lose control of their bowels was proven true just seconds after the hymn Gather Us In began last Sunday. Director of Acoustic Resonance and Church Worship at the Vatican Michelle Klinsmann... Read More

Tostitos Fiesta Pentecost Mass One Of Many New Church Sponsorships

Alameda, CA–Following a string of church closures around the country, St. Stephen Parish in Alameda, California has announced plans to have their upcoming Pentecost Mass sponsored by Tostitos. The move comes just months after Los Angeles... Read More

Fr. Zuhlsdorf Installs Electric Altar Rails; 2 Women Injured

It is being reported that the two unidentified Catholics who rushed the altar this morning to assist Fr. John Zuhlsdorf during the Mass were injured after they were shocked by electric altar rails installed by the priest. The well-known Catholic... Read More

Creepy Clown Masses On The Rise

Image: Graeme Maclean Reports out of Cincinnati, Ohio today suggest sightings of Creepy Clown Masses are on the rise nationwide, and at levels not seen since the introduction of the 3rd typical edition of the Roman Missal five years ago. While... Read More

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Libs & Trads

SSPX Sentences Priest To 1,000 Lashes For Smiling During Mass

Society of St. Pius X priest Fr. Donald Johnson has been sentenced to three years in prison and 1,000 lashes for allegedly smiling during the Mass two weeks ago. Johnson... Read More

Jesus Assumes New Role As Savior Emeritus After Catholic Blogger Takes Over Task Of Saving Church From Francis

Catholic blogger Nicholas Robison, best known for his blog, More Catholic Than Jesus, announced today that he has officially assumed the role of Savior of the world,... Read More

New Study: Sedevacantists Feeling Our Pain…A Lot

Oyster Bay Cove, NY–A new study out today by the Society of St. Pius V reveals that 85% of its members are currently feeling the pain of non-sedevacantist... Read More

Newly Revealed Catacomb Painting Undeniable Proof That Women Were Able To Raise Hands In Air In Early Church

VATICAN–Newly restored frescoes from the Catacombs of Priscilla were unveiled by the Vatican on Tuesday, some of which reveal that women in early Christianity... Read More

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Politics

Russian Orthodox Church Accused Of Doping Parishioners To Gain Spiritual Advantage

With Armageddon just around the corner, the Russian Orthodox Church is... Read More

Expert Analysis From Community College World Religions Teacher On CNN

Royal Oak, MI–Just minutes after black smoke rose above the Sistine... Read More

Cardinal Dolan, Pope Francis Can’t Seem To Find A Case For Excommunicating Andrew Cuomo

Image: Pat Arnow   Conceding that, though the Catholic Church would... Read More

Francis Pulls Vatican Out Of The “Columbia House 8 CDs For A Penny” Deal

Pope Francis announced Tuesday that he will withdraw the Vatican from... Read More

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Vatican

Little Girl Who Attempted To Steal Pope’s “Hat” Arraigned On Felony Charges

The Swiss Guard have arrested Estella Westrick from Atlanta, Georgia for several... Read More

Vatican Approves Construction of World’s Largest Bus To Throw Chinese Catholics Under

  The Vatican said this past weekend that it had reached an agreement with... Read More

Pope Francis Seen Walking Around The Vatican Carrying Bloody, Barbed Wire Baseball Bat

Rumors out of Rome began swirling yesterday after Pope Francis was seen walking... Read More

2014 Sochi Olympics: Why Has The Vatican Yet To Medal?

SOCHI, Russia––For only the third time in Winter Games history, the United States... Read More

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