People Preparing McCarrick Report Same People As Counting Votes In Nevada

After days of ballot counting in Nevada, officials from the state revealed earlier this morning that they were, in fact, the same people that were... Read More

Mass

Pope’s New Crossguard Lightsaber Crosier Stirring Up Controversy With Liturgical Purists

VATICAN — Vatican television took the liturgical world by storm last Friday by giving Catholics their very first official look at a short teaser trailer from the upcoming papal Christmas Mass. Focusing much of the trailer on new cantors... Read More

Report: Priest Doing That Stupid Thing Where He Walks Up And Down Aisle During Homily

Image: ChipSomodevilla/Getty Images Europe   Being asked about how their weekends were going, parishioners at St. Luke Parish announced Sunday that Fr. Todd Bunnell was, yet again, leaving the podium and making his way down to the aisle... Read More

Rookie Monk Out For Advent Season With High Tonsure Sprain

    St. Louis rookie Augustinian Brother Ambrose will be sidelined two to three weeks with a high tonsure sprain, The Augustinian Daily is reporting. Ambrose was injured during last Sunday’s Vesper hour after bowing too fast. “I... Read More

ICEL Calls For All-Meme Missal Translation For Youth Masses

Citing a need for the Church to “reach out to its estranged youth,” the International Commission on English in the Liturgy requested, and has already begun intensive work on, an all-meme edition of the Roman Missal. Representatives from... Read More

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Libs & Trads

Black Sheep Dog, John Corapi, Issues Apology

Hudson, NY––Former S.O.L.T. priest, John Corapi, has apologized today for what he called a “negligent and insensitive decision.” On June 7th, 2011,... Read More

Protestant Friend Knows All He Needs To Know About Catholic Church

Orange County, CA–Area Protestant Ezekial Atkinson reported earlier this morning that he didn’t need a lecture on Church teaching because he “already... Read More

Woman Who Believes Church Has No Respect For Women Can’t Wait To See Fifty Shades Of Grey

South Jordan, UT––Citing the Catholic Church’s centuries old “tradition” of misogyny and overall hatred toward women, local Catholic Debra Wilhelm told... Read More

“Yeah, You’re Going To Hell,” SSPX Priest Tells 12-Year-Old Penitent

Local Society of St. Pius X priest Father Marvin McDonald informed 12-year-old parishioner Timmy Seibel that he was, “without a doubt,” going to hell for hitting... Read More

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Politics

Mosul Muslims Delight Christian Neighbors with “One-Eyed Willy” Smiley Faces

Mosul, IRAQ––The Western Media is reporting a growing new trend in... Read More

EWTN Officially Endorses Trump For The Papacy

Image: Gage Skidmore Just a day before EWTN plans to air an exclusive interview... Read More

Breaking: Your Side Will Win The Midterm Elections Today Because Of Your Comment On A Facebook Post

  In what many are calling a spectacular turn of events, pollsters... Read More

New California Law Forces Parishes To Switch To E-Thuribles

  A new  ban on thurible smoke will take effect in all California... Read More

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Vatican

Benedict XVI: “The Entire Vial Of Blood, Including Reliquary, Would’ve Liquefied If I Was Holding It”

Just days after St. Gennaro’s blood liquefied after Pope Francis kissed the... Read More

Wind Gust Nearly Blows Off Benedict’s Zucchetto, Leading Media To Speculate About More Stuff

VATICAN CITY–Media outlets around the world are buzzing with speculation this... Read More

Head Of Vatican Secret Archives Enjoys Muttering Cryptic Half-Sentences Just To Mess With People’s Heads

  Head of Vatican Secret Archives Monsignor Luigi Alfresco admitted to close friends... Read More

New DC Comics ‘Benedict V Francis: Dawn Of Mercy’ Film Getting Terrible Reviews

Image: Andrew Hermiz It’s been three years since Benedict’s colossal battle... Read More

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