Pope Francis Says It’s Better To Be An Atheist Than To Enjoy The DC Cinematic Universe
“If you watched Suicide Squad or Batman v. Superman and somehow convinced yourself that they were enjoyable movies, or lead a ‘double life’ where you defend the DC Cinematic Extended Universe externally but feel a deep sadness about it internally, perhaps it’s better not to call yourself a believer in God at all,” Pope Francis said on Friday. “So many fanboys insist the critics got it wrong and that the Rotten Tomatoes scores don’t reflect... Read More
Burke Named Head Of Vatican’s Congregation Of Janitorial Services
The Vatican announced today that Pope Francis has named Cardinal Raymond Burke to be the first prefect of the Congregation of Janitorial Services. Francis’ decision to choose the staunch conservative to head the new department is a sign to many that Francis does see a role for Burke in his pontificate, despite disagreements the two have had in the past. Several sources in the Vatican say that Francis chose Cardinal Burke because he is known to work well... Read More
Pope Francis Mandates All Catholics Convert To Lutheranism In New Apostolic Exhortation
Just hours after Pope Francis published his latest work Reformatio Si, Catholic theologian Cardinal Walter Kasper told reporters that, though Pope Francis’ apostolic exhortation mandating all Catholics convert to Lutheranism might be tough to comprehend, he nevertheless prayed that they have faith in the same Holy Spirit that not only chose Francis to become pope, but also “was the instrument behind the works of St. Martin Luther.” “I... Read More
Vatican To Issue Martin Luther Tramp Stamps
According to several reports out today, the Vatican will be issuing lower back tattoos to Catholics in honor of German priest and protestant reformer Martin Luther this October. Although Martin Luther was declared a heretic and excommunicated in 1521, Vatican officials have reportedly sent letters to all Catholics that are “able and willing” to visit Rome for the “official issuing of the ecclesiastical tramp stamp.” “We... Read More
Ringling Bros. Circus And Its Subsidiary The Vatican To Shut Down In May
Image:AlejandroLinaresGarcia After more than 140 years, the curtain is coming down on “The Greatest Show on Earth,” Roman Curia and Ringling Bros. Circus and Barnum & Bailey Circus board member Bishop Antonio Scarlatti said early Monday morning. The iconic Roman spectacle and its principle Ringling Bros. Circus explained that declining attendance combined with high payroll for most members of the clergy in the curia contributed... Read More