Pope Francis Calls For More Vatican Nukes In Annual Christmas Message
Just days after Pope Francis offered a message of hope in his annual “Urbi et Orbi” Christmas day message, the Pontiff has now backtracked, saying that if peace could not prevail, he would be forced to join the United States and Russia in an arms race. Pope Francis told EOTT in an exclusive interview this morning that “We will outmatch Russia and the U.S. at every pass and outlast them all, both spiritually as well as with our growing stockpile of... Read More
Santa Reassigns “Rigid” Elf On The Shelf To Malta
Image: An Errant Knight Santa Claus has reassigned a conservative “scout elf” from a key post in a home near Farmington Hills, Michigan to one that is mostly symbolic. Ray, the Elf on the Shelf in question, has been a leading stickler for those being naughty or nice, and has been vocal in his criticism of the direction that Santa has been leading Christmas in. Ray was one of the highest ranking scout elves in the North Pole hierarchy in his position... Read More
Pope Hosts Interfaith Peace Gathering Between Vatican And Priestly Fraternity Of St. Peter In Assisi
Image: RyansWorld In what Pope Francis called “the first ever interfaith peace gathering between the Vatican and the Priestly Fraternity of St. Peter (FSSP) ” in Assisi, the Pontiff told those gathered that “calling people rigid in the name of God does not represent the true nature of religion and must be condemned by all.” “We never tire of repeating that the name of God cannot be used to justify insults. We must always remember... Read More
Vatican Investigating Possible Russian Orthodox Hack Of 2013 Papal Elections
In a surprise press conference today, Monsignor Buonarroti, Head of the Catholic Internet Agency (CIA), affirmed that in 2013 Russian Orthodox hackers infiltrated the Vatican servers in an attempt to sway the outcome of the latest Papal Conclave that elected Pope Francis. The hack was traced to a group of seminarians based out of a small seminary in suburban Moscow. “They wanted to sew seeds of confusion in the Catholic Church to bring it more in... Read More
Kanye West Meets With Pope Francis To Discuss Liturgy
Kanye West performing at Lollapalooza on April 3, 2011 in Chile.Photo credit: rodrigoferrari Kanye West met with Pope Francis on Tuesday, after he was spotted arriving at the Vatican, just days after the rapper was first seen following his hospitalization for exhaustion. West was seen walking in wearing a $10,000 rosary around his neck, a clear sign that he’s been considering converting to Catholicism. He was accompanied by an entourage that included... Read More