New Archbishop of Canterbury Makes Compelling Case For Gay Marriage

ENGLAND–The Most Reverend Justin Welby was formally enthroned earlier today as the Anglican Church’s 105th Archbishop of Canterbury. The ceremony took place in the 900-year-old Canterbury Cathedral in southern England, where Welby told those in attendance that he hoped to usher the Anglican community toward a more “Christ-liberated courage” in regards to acceptance of all lifestyles. Dressed in a cope, stole, and ornate,... Read More

[Breaking] Biden Steps Down As VP Hours After Becoming Pro-Life

Former Vice President Joe Biden attending Pope Francis’ Installation Mass. Washington, DC––Vice President Joe Biden announced today that he was stepping down as Vice President just hours after an altercation on the phone between Biden and President Obama regarding the sanctity of life. This comes on the heels of Biden’s visit with with Pope Francis after the conclusion of the pope’s Installation Mass, in which Biden could be heard... Read More

Expert Analysis From Community College World Religions Teacher On CNN

Royal Oak, MI–Just minutes after black smoke rose above the Sistine Chapel Tuesday, World Religions Teacher at Royal Oak Community College Stacy Martinez appeared on CNN to give her opinion regarding the failure of the first ballot. The 57-year-old community college teacher told Wolf Blitzer that the failure of the 115 Cardinals participating in the conclave could be a sign of disunity and perhaps even indecision. “What Catholics have to... Read More

King Richard III Confirmed Dead

Leicester, England–Scientists say they have found the missing remains of King Richard III, confirming reports that the 15th century monarch is dead. Researchers at the University of Leicester told reporters today that the skeleton unearthed proved “beyond the shadow of a doubt” that the 33-year-old king, jokingly called “Good King Richard” by friends and family, was in fact dead, and not in seclusion as some have... Read More

Four Jesuit Missionaries Dead After Battle With Portuguese Colonists

In memoriam:Father Gabriel, Rodrigo Mendoza, Fielding, The Other Jesuit Iguazu Falls, Argentina–Hundreds of Guarani tribe members, including four Jesuit missionaries, were slain early this week when their Mission, located atop the perilous Iguazu Falls on the boundaries of Argentina and Brazil, was attacked by a coalition of Spanish and Portuguese colonists. The Mission’s land, once under the protection of the Spanish, had been reapportioned... Read More

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