Ireland Approves Reentry Of Snakes Into Country By Popular Vote
Ireland overwhelmingly approved a referendum to allow “snakes” back in the country on Saturday, becoming the first country in the world to allow such a move by popular vote. Though the final tally is yet unknown, the referendum achieved the support of an estimated 65 percent of the population. Michael Fitzpatrick, prominent supporter of the “Hell No” campaign, conceded the referendum’s defeat Saturday morning. “It is a sad day now that Ireland... Read More
California Drought Forcing Churches To Ration Baptisms
In response to California’s four-year drought, California Governor Jerry Brown has ordered the country’s first-ever mandatory baptism restrictions. Brown’s executive order mandates that all churches in California cut back baptisms by 25 percent. The actual baptism restrictions are left in part up to the local dioceses, which will determine baptism limits and ways to monitor how many individuals are being saved by the blood of the Lamb. Brown... Read More
Illuminati Gives Pope Francis Two-Year Extension
In a private meeting with cloaked members of the Illuminati this morning, Pope Francis reportedly signed a two-year extension to his pontificate, with a 3-year possible extension after that. The Illuminati, who has run the Church behind the scenes since the 1700’s, reported that, although Francis’ pontificate could still end whenever they saw fit, that Francis was for now technically guaranteed at least a few more years. “Our society... Read More
Vatican Threatens To Relocate Holy See To Los Angeles If Rome Doesn’t Build New Retractable Roof Basilica
Meeting with Rome Mayor Ignazio Marino’s nine-member basilica advisory group for the first time this week, representatives of the Catholic Church provided a blunt assessment on the city’s effort to build a new retractable roof basilica that would keep the Church in Rome. Giuseppe Bertello, the Church’s President of the Pontifical Commission for Vatican City State and point person on the basilica issue, provided a copy of the remarks... Read More
Raymond Arroyo Apologizes For False Story About Being Hit By Cannonball During Battle Of Lepanto
The World Over Live anchor Raymond Arroyo apologized Wednesday for falsely claiming that he had been aboard a ship that was hit by a cannonball during the battle of Lepanto in 1571, EOTT is reporting. On last Friday night’s broadcast, Arroyo cited “a terrible moment a few centuries back during the Holy League’s war against the Ottoman Empire when the ship I was traveling aboard began to sink after being hit by a cannonball. I was rescued,... Read More