New GraceFace App Reveals What Users Will Look Like After The Resurrection Of The Body

Piggy-backing off the recent excitement over FaceApp, Catholic developers have released GraceFace, an application that reveals what users will look like for all eternity.             “Like FaceApp, GraceFace uses a phone’s camera to take a picture of the user, but it then projects what their body will look like following the Resurrection of the Body at the end of time,” said Ken Carson, lead developer for GraceFace. “People love... Read More

Insufferable Little Prick Online Trying To Get People To Use The Word ‘Godincidence’

In an effort to convince more of his “fellow Christians” of the fact that there is no such thing as coincidence late last week, local insufferable man Alex Duggan has reportedly begun a campaign to get more Christians to use the word “Godincidence.” “There is no such thing as coincidence,” the little prick told people on several blog threads, going on to explain how everything had a purpose, either created or allowed by God. “When... Read More

Eminem Adapts To Praise & Worship In Effort To Stay Relevant

Image: Mika-photography In an effort to reach out to a growing and larger audience, Rapper Marshal Mathers announced this morning that he has decided to adapt his style of music to contemporary Christian Music, also known as Praise & Worship. “I’ve never really been that religious, as most of you know” Marshal Mathers told members of the press. “But if there is a chance my music can be confused with actual prayer and worship, then this... Read More

Report: Apostles Probably Smelled Pretty Nasty

According to a report by historians at the University of Dallas Tuesday, all twelve of the apostles most likely smelled “pretty darn nasty.” The report states that, though it is not intended to insult the disciples of Jesus, fact remains that they most definitely stank like holy hell, and that, had not everyone else at the time also reeked, no one would have come within two miles of them to hear the Good News of Jesus Christ. The historians... Read More

Game Of Thrones Starbucks Cup Reportedly To Appear Nude In Season Finale

Explaining that the long-awaited appearance of the Starbucks cup during last week’s episode of Game of Thrones was “not at all an accident,” one of the show’s executive producers Bernie Caulfield told viewers on Conan last night that there was “plenty more to see in the coming weeks.” “We’ve always prided ourselves in giving our fans the unexpected, and this was no exception,” Caulfield said, trying her best not reveal any secrets.... Read More

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