Last Male Altar Server In U.S. Quits; No Longer Wants To Do Girls Job

The last male altar server in the United States has officially called it quits, the boy’s family is reporting this morning. The 3-year altar server veteran, who remained at his post as cross bearer despite pressure from the community to wear heels or quit altogether, served his final Mass on Sunday morning. Devin McAlister, who claims he was made fun of by friends at school for doing a “girls job” told EOTT that many in the community... Read More

Woman Praying Salve Regina Still Not Sure Whether It’s “Vale” or “Valley” Of Tears

29-year-old Maria Sanelli reported today that after more than a decade of praying the Salve Regina, that she was still unsure of whether she was supposed to be saying “vale of tears,” or “valley of tears.” “Seriously though, is it vale or valley?” Sanelli asked her friends midway through her recitation of the Salve Regina. “And what exactly is a vale, anyway? It is vale right? As in V-A-L-E vale, not veil as in a wedding veil. Is vale short... Read More

BREAKING: New England Priest May Have Deflated Parishioner Enthusiasm During Homily

Things are beginning to get interesting in New England after Archbishop Sean Patrick O’Malley met with the media yesterday and said he knew nothing about whether or not a diocesan priest purposely deflated parishioner enthusiasm for the Church during last Sunday’s homily. The homily, which many are now calling  “fluffgate” because of its absence of any substance, has brought nationwide attention to the small Catholic parish. O’Malley... Read More

Priest Really Can’t Wait to Hear Your Whole Life Story in Confessional

Sources reported earlier today that Fr. David Bryant, Pastor at St. Josephat Catholic Church in Santa Barbara, is really looking forward to hearing your entire life story during confession today. “I see the Sacrament of Reconciliation not so much as an instrument of grace and forgiveness of sins as much as a time for you to state every event that has happened to you in minute detail, the same way you did last week,” Fr. Bryant stated. “Don’t worry... Read More

8-Year-Old Boy Escapes From Shawshank Cathedral Cry Room

A routine Sunday morning for the Dufresne family took a sudden turn last week after 8-year-old Andrew Dufresne escaped from the cry room of Shawshank Cathedral in Maine. Dufresne, who reportedly told longtime friend Red McKenna last week that he had a “rock solid” plan to escape the cry room if he was ever wrongly placed there again, was missing from the cry room when his parents arrived after Mass to take him home. Parental authorities reported a... Read More

« Previous Page — Next Page »