San Diego Bishop McElroy To Relocate To Los Angeles

San Diego bishop Robert McElroy announced today that he would be relocating to Los Angeles, ending a two-year stint with San Diego. McElroy has notified Pope Francis and other bishops of his intent to move to Los Angeles by the 2017 Lenten season, sources said. “At first I hoped it was fake news,” San Diego Hall of Fame bishop Robert Brom said of the move. “It’s something that is unfathomable, but it is reality.” “This... Read More

Incense Vaping: The Latest Danger At Roman Seminaries

A recent uptick in admissions to Roman hospitals has Swiss Guards concerned after seminarians in various colleges in and around the Vatican have turned to vaping powerful blends of incense. The problem reached a crescendo on Epiphany Eve when thirteen seminarians from the North American College overdosed while vaping contraband incense at a Three Kings Party. The incense found by authorities during a raid at the party is a powerful and pure blend that... Read More

Priest Selling Contraband Blessings In The Sketchy End Of Parish Arrested

Father Martin Jones has been arrested for selling contraband papal blessings near the south end of St. Agatha parish after authorities found a trunk full knockoff religious goods and blessings. The thirty year-old priest was arrested in the early hours of morning Mass yesterday after several parishioners admitted to purchasing blessings and intersessions at below market prices. The arrest took place in the abandoned part of the church where the tabernacle... Read More

Santa Claus’ Contract Extended Through 2023 Christmas Season

The Nativity Financial League (NFL) announced today that Santa Claus signed an 11th hour, 6 year contract extension.  It was widely reported that Santa was unhappy with his existing contract and was planning to sit out the 2016 Christmas Season.  Under pressure from commercial sponsors, the League and Santa scrambled to come to an agreement that saved the 2016 Season. Recruited out of a small program in Bari, Italy, Santa in his rookie year signed a... Read More

The Four Horsemen Decide To Take An Uber To The Apocalypse

According to several sources, the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” have decided to share an Uber to save money and time. “I was parked outside an ARCO when I received an alert notifying me of a pick up,” said local Uber driver Amar Sharid. “The man’s name was Hades of the Four Horsemen and his picture was that of the head of a skeleton. It seemed odd, but I needed the money, so I accepted.” “I have to admit... Read More

« Previous Page — Next Page »