Jack Chick Having Heated Debate With Saint Peter At Pearly Gates

Image:Brendan Riley Evangelical cartoonist Jack Chick whose tracts spread biblical messages to the pagan world, as well as notified a billion Roman Catholics that they were all going to suffer eternal damnation, peacefully died Sunday at the age of 92. According to an anonymous saint within the Pearly Gates, Chick, now three days deceased, is in a heated debate about the existence of Purgatory with Saint Peter. “Ah, you get one of these guys in... Read More

San Diego Bishop To Have Diocese Sprayed In Effort To Fight The Spread Of Orthodoxy

In an effort to combat what is being called a “fast-moving and highly contagious disease,” officials at the Diocese of San Diego announced today that they will begin spraying for orthodoxy this month. Diocesan spiritual health officials will spray parts of San Diego after several individuals tested positive for orthodoxy last month. One San Diego resident recently returned from a one week retreat at a Benedictine monastery where orthodoxy is known... Read More

No One At Mass Sure Whether They At Catholic Or Protestant Service

Despite efforts to figure whether they were in a Catholic or Protestant service, local parishioners were left baffled after an “animated” man wearing vestments put on a head mic and began pacing back and forth as he delivered his sermon. “The man looked like a priest and I was quite certain I was in a Catholic Church,” said longtime parishioner Joyce Parlin who had no clue as to what the hell was going on. “But he kept pacing back and forth,... Read More

Newspaper Fires Staff Writers Amid Allegations That They Had Opinions 

Image: Andrew Hermiz Two National Catholic Register staff writers have been fired and are now facing possible public flogging after they allegedly had opinions and were outspoken about them. The National Catholic Register on Monday terminated Mark Shea and Simcha Fisher from their positions as staff writers from the EWTN-owned newspaper. Reports from several bloggers say that they were fired for allegedly saying stuff that kinda pissed some Catholics... Read More

Catholics Attending Sedevacantist World Youth Day Still Waiting For Pope To Arrive

Image: Socrates2008 Many Catholics attending the Sedevacantist World Youth Day are reportedly still anxiously waiting the Pope’s arrival, sources are reporting. According to numerous sources who have been patiently waiting in Panama City since early dawn of 1958 for the Pope’s arrival, the patience of many of the attendees has been “pushed to its limits.” “I’ve been waiting on this damn field for the Opening Ceremonies... Read More

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