Müller To Build Vatican II Theme Park

VATICAN–Speaking to the press Wednesday afternoon, Prefect of the Congregation of the Doctrine of Faith Archbishop Gerhard Ludwig Müller announced plans to create the first ever Vatican II theme park. “We’re very thrilled about the opportunities that the theme park will bring to the Church. In particular, we’re excited to see how it may become a tool for fostering a culture of open dialogue within a fun and exciting... Read More

Statue In Cathedral Of Our Lady Of The Angels Wondering Why Everyone Keeps Laughing At It

Los Angeles, CA––The Virgin Mary statue at the entrance of Our Lady of the Angels Cathedral in Los Angeles announced today that it was becoming evermore frustrated and frankly rather confused by the amount of mockery it has received since it was first created. The 8-foot-tall, modern representation of the Virgin Mary told Eye of the Tiber that ever since it was created in 2002, it has been the butt of jokes, scoffs, and laughs by visitors... Read More

Nation’s Catholics Demand Better Catechesis To Better Understand What Teachings To Ignore

Washington, DC––Thousands of the nation’s ill-catechized Catholics protested outside the USCCB headquarters in Washington, DC last night, demanding better catechesis so as to better understand what Church teachings they are going to continue to ignore. 24-year-old Tanya Wilkins who spearheaded the protest told reporters that she feels the need for better catechesis because she had for years “unconsciously ignored teachings such as contraception... Read More

Pope Michael I Announces Location Of Upcoming World Youth Day

Pope Michael I interviewed by reporters after the World Youth Day announcement Belvue, KS–Conclavist claimant to the papacy David Bawden, better known as Pope Michael I, announced today in his Wednesday general audience to his mother and four individuals who happened to be walking by, that next year’s World Youth Day would be held at his next door neighbor’s backyard. “I announce with great joy that World Youth Day 2013 will... Read More

Lapsed Catholic Confirms She Is Still Spiritual

27-year-old Sara Matson confirmed to friends yesterday that she was indeed still very spiritual despite no longer attending Mass. Matson, a World Religions teacher at St. Francis Xavier Catholic School in Sherman Oaks, California reported to her friends that she feels her creator’s presence everywhere. “Not that there’s anything wrong with going to church,” Matson later confirmed. “There’s also nothing wrong with... Read More

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