2-Year-Old Boy Named Lefebvre Being Extremely Disobedient To Father

Chino, CA–Citing his son’s refusal to adhere to any of his warnings, Robert Kosheta, once proud father of local 2-year-old Lefebvre Kosheta, reported today that he was extremely disappointed with his son’s stubborn refusal to simply listen to him. After many months of Lefebvre’s ever-growing temper and obstinate resistance to anything his father said, Robert Kosheta told EOTT that he was officially grounded, and would not... Read More

Solemn High Requiem Mass Held For The Spirit Of Vatican II

    A Solemn High Requiem Mass was held Thursday at St. Martura Church in downtown Cincinnati for the Spirit of Vatican II, aged 52. After suffering a progressively debilitating illness for the last ten years of its life as a new generation of priests re-examined the Council in light of Sacred Tradition, the Spirit of Vatican II passed away quietly in its sleep last Tuesday. “The Requiem Mass really brought closure to the community,” said... Read More

NASA Discovers Earth-like Planet That Could Support Maryknoll Fathers

NASA astronomers today revealed that they have discovered an Earth-like planet close to 600 light years away that might be able to sustain the Maryknoll Fathers and Brothers. Roughly Earth-sized, the planet called Kepler-196g orbits a star from a distance scientists call the “habitable zone,” the range at which it could have liquid water for Maryknoll Fathers to survive, without them having to be on the same planet as other Catholics to do... Read More

Report: Some 2nd Century Roman Christians Hated Latin Mass Because It Was Said In The Vernacular

ROME–A letter written by an anonymous early Roman Christian was unearthed at the base of the Palatine Hills earlier this week, revealing that many Christians living in Rome at the time hated the Latin Mass because it was being said in the vernacular. The letter, which scientists are dating back to the early 2nd century, reveals much angst and division in the early Church between those who believed it was acceptable to use the vernacular during... Read More

Woman Who Believes Church Has No Respect For Women Can’t Wait To See Fifty Shades Of Grey

South Jordan, UT––Citing the Catholic Church’s centuries old “tradition” of misogyny and overall hatred toward women, local Catholic Debra Wilhelm told friends and family today that she, nevertheless, could hardly wait another moment for the release of the new Fifty Shades of Grey film. “The Catholic Church is not only one of the most anti-woman institutions in the world, but it has also been led by some of the most chauvinistic men, whose... Read More

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