Pope Francis Seen Walking Around The Vatican Carrying Bloody, Barbed Wire Baseball Bat
Rumors out of Rome began swirling yesterday after Pope Francis was seen walking around the Vatican with a bloody, barbed wire baseball bat that many reported hearing the Pontiff refer to as “Saint Lucille.” “It’s really been kinda intense here the past few days,” said Swiss Guard, Luca Shmid. “He’s been walking around with an odd, obnoxious smirk on his face talking about Saint Lucille being thirsty, and... Read More
‘The Walking Pope’ Mid-Season Finale Recap
Season 3 of The Walking Pope has been a downward slide for EWTN who produced the hit TV show as well as the pontificate it’s based on. As many viewers have said before, many of the problems stem from Francis’s exhausting form of liberal villainy, but he is not the only problem. Last night’s mid-season finale “Sacred and Immaculate Hearts Still Beating” gave viewers brief glimpses of what made the pontificate work before this season... Read More
Vatican Offering Cyber Monday 50% Off Sale On All Indulgences
Even though far more Catholics shopped online than in churches on Black Friday weekend, they are apparently not done yet. A new EOTT survey released Sunday estimates that some 67-million Roman Catholics will shop online for their remission of temporal punishment in purgatory due for sins after absolution on Cyber Monday. That’s up only slightly from last year’s 65-million shoppers. With Walmart and Amazon recently entering the Cyber Monday indulgence... Read More
Pope Francis Calls Ten Commandments Too Rigid
November 22, 2016 by Admin
Filed under Libs & Trads
[News Brief] Pope Francis on Monday warned against the excessive rigidity of the Ten Commandments and said “God gives us the freedom to search our own conscience for commandments.” “I always try to understand what’s behind people who are too young to have seen Moses walk down from Mount Sinai with the Ten Commandments, and yet still they want to obey them,” Francis said. “Sometimes I find myself confronted with a very... Read More
Four Cardinals Ask Francis To Clarify IKEA Instructions
Image: Sean Hobson Telling the press today that instructions of Pope Francis’ IKEA gift to them had numerous inconsistencies, four cardinals wrote a letter to him asking that he “resolve the uncertainties and bring clarity to the instruction manual for the armchair.” “We the undersigned, but also many bishops and priests, ask that you provide the correct interpretation to page three of the IKEA instructions for your AMÖRIS Armchair gift,”... Read More