Knights Of Columbus Amassing Troops In Preparation For Vatican Takeover Of Malta
January 26, 2017 by Admin
Filed under Libs & Trads
Tensions have escalated between conservative and liberal Catholics today as Knights of Columbus members amassed on Malta’s border, which was recently annexed by the Vatican. Maltese U.N. Ambassador Marcallino Galea told EOTT this morning that the Knights of Columbus had amassed more than 40,000 knights on the border of Malta. “These numbers may reflect some very bad intentions and this is the last thing we would like to happen,”... Read More
Bishop’s Inaugural Homily Promises To Put Christ First
Image: Jarek Tuszyński Bishop Thomas Drumpf, in his inaugural homily, promised to make his new diocese great again and to put Christ first. As he took the oath of bishopric on Friday, Drumpf vowed that “the forgotten Catholic men and women of our diocese will be forgotten no longer.” “January 20th, 2017, will be remembered as the day the parishioners became the bishop of this diocese again,” Drumpf told the crowd in his speech... Read More
New Protestant “Achilles’ Heel Free Bible” Omits Matthew 16:18, Book of James
January 19, 2017 by Admin
Filed under Parish Life
Protestant book publisher Branch Of A Branch Publishing announced today the publication of their new Achilles’ Heel Free Bible, which is said to omit Matthew 16:18 and The Book of James. Branch Of A Branch Publishing founder and president Pastor Blake Williams told EOTT this morning that he “thought it time to relieve the stress from Protestants who stumble across awkward passages while studying the Good Word.” “We all obviously... Read More
Vatican To Issue Martin Luther Tramp Stamps
According to several reports out today, the Vatican will be issuing lower back tattoos to Catholics in honor of German priest and protestant reformer Martin Luther this October. Although Martin Luther was declared a heretic and excommunicated in 1521, Vatican officials have reportedly sent letters to all Catholics that are “able and willing” to visit Rome for the “official issuing of the ecclesiastical tramp stamp.” “We... Read More
Ringling Bros. Circus And Its Subsidiary The Vatican To Shut Down In May
Image:AlejandroLinaresGarcia After more than 140 years, the curtain is coming down on “The Greatest Show on Earth,” Roman Curia and Ringling Bros. Circus and Barnum & Bailey Circus board member Bishop Antonio Scarlatti said early Monday morning. The iconic Roman spectacle and its principle Ringling Bros. Circus explained that declining attendance combined with high payroll for most members of the clergy in the curia contributed... Read More