Vatican Announces New Three-Strikes Excommunication Policy

  The Vatican has announced today that beginning next year, a new three-strikes excommunication policy will take effect. The new three-strike policy would automatically excommunicate anyone found guilty of having committed three mortal sins. “We are mandating this new policy because we have found that too many Catholics are either committing the same sins over and over again because they know they can simply come to confession right after, or because... Read More

Loser Has Relic Of Some Saint No One Has Ever Heard Of

  Admitting that it wasn’t the relic of a saint most people have ever heard of, 31-year-old Candice Price told friends Wednesday that her first class relic of St. Gaspar del Bufalo was, nevertheless, still just as important and powerful as ones of St. Therese and John Paul II. “Seriously, guys, I can see that you’re all a bit underwhelmed, but believe me, you wanna get your hands on this,” said Price, placing the reliquary that contained the... Read More

New Ascension Press “Great Disappointment Catholic Bible” Includes Timeline Of All The Moments In Your Life That You’ve Failed God

  The Great Disappointment Catholic Bible published by Ascension Press hit Catholic bookstores today, with thousands clamoring to get their hands on the brand new bible in hopes of learning a little more about where things began to spiral downward in their sinful lives. The Great Disappointment Catholic Bible uses fun maps and charts, showing the reader exactly where they were, as well as how old they were, when they began to utterly fail God. Also... Read More

Jason Evert Weighs In On How Far Is Too Far During The Kiss Of Peace

  Earlier this week at the Franciscan University of Steubenville, well-known chastity speaker and writer Jason Evert gave a presentation to hundreds of college students with his new talk,  “How Far is Too Far During the Kiss of Peace.” In his talk, Evert went over a wide variety of subjects in regards to living a life of chastity, but focusing on how not to give in to temptation during the Mass, which he called “one of the worst places to take... Read More

Parish Priest Anoints First Extraordinary Ministers Of Confession

  Addressing the crisis of dwindling lay vocations, Fr. Donald Spenser of St. Lawrence Catholic Church anointed the Catholic Church’s first ever extraordinary ministers of reconciliation on Saturday. The newly elevated parishioners were received into this ministry after a four-hour workshop on lay pastoral healing, and receiving a special necklace identifying them as extraordinary lay people. “It’s great that everyone has a little job to do,”... Read More

Next Page »