The Four Horsemen Decide To Take An Uber To The Apocalypse

According to several sources, the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” have decided to share an Uber to save money and time. “I was parked outside an ARCO when I received an alert notifying me of a pick up,” said local Uber driver Amar Sharid. “The man’s name was Hades of the Four Horsemen and his picture was that of the head of a skeleton. It seemed odd, but I needed the money, so I accepted.” “I have to admit... Read More

Creepy Clown Masses On The Rise

Image: Graeme Maclean Reports out of Cincinnati, Ohio today suggest sightings of Creepy Clown Masses are on the rise nationwide, and at levels not seen since the introduction of the 3rd typical edition of the Roman Missal five years ago. While anecdotes abounded in the 1990’s, most Catholics had never seen a Creepy Clown Mass themselves until recently. “I was ascending the side altar for my morning Latin Mass when I suddenly heard a calliope playing... Read More

SSPX Chess Player Creates Bishop Pieces Without World Chess Federation Approval

Image: Benjamin Fishman Society of St. Pius X chess grandmaster Larcel Mafebvre has turned four of his pieces into bishops without approval from the World Chess Federation, officials have confirmed. “Mr. Mafebvre has, without approval from the Federation, created bishops out of pawn pieces,” said World Chess Federation head Antonio Salamanca. “After speaking with Mr. Mafebvre regarding abiding by the new chess rules, wherein players... Read More

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