Updated SSPX Catechesis Program To Now Include Fundamentals Of Catholic Trolling

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SSPX leadership is preparing to launch a new Catechism program in an effort to help better explain Church teaching and how to best completely obliterate lesser Catholics on social media.

“Trolling is important for the Church because with knowledge comes responsibility,” said bishop Donald Vensand, head of the SSPX Council for the Degradation of Inferior Catholics. “With that responsibility comes a duty toward fellow Catholics. Our studies have shown that the best way to get through to people in this new age of communication is to utterly eviscerate everything they believe, even if it takes 30, 40 messages in sequence.”

Although SSPX officials have not yet set a  launch date for the new program, officials are encouraging the faithful to begin practicing  “berate evangelization” for 3 to 4 hours a day.

In an interview with EOTT this morning, Vensand talked about the Church’s need for trolling, saying, “It is the duty of every one of us to make sure that Vatican II Catholics understand how clearly stupid they are. They must understand how dumb and idiotic they are by any means necessary for the salvation of their souls. But we do ask that those who plan to participate in the program to not use expletives until properly trained by a catechesis instructor. Unless, of course, they have a really good zinger, in which case, let the expletives fly like the angels.