Report: Priest Doing That Stupid Thing Where He Walks Up And Down Aisle During Homily

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Being asked about how their weekends were going, parishioners at St. Luke Parish announced Sunday that Fr. Todd Bunnell was, yet again, leaving the podium and making his way down to the aisle to preach the homily.

According to reports, Bunnell was, for the fourth straight Sunday in a row, “doing that Protestant thing where he walks up and down the aisle, trying to get people excited and more engaged in the Mass.”

“I see what he’s trying to accomplish,” one parishioner said, trying her best not to make eye contact with Bunnell, “but it’s just kinda weird and, in my opinion, stupid and awkward. I’d prefer he stayed up there and we stayed down here–just far enough where we don’t have to see the sweat glistening off his upper lip.”

Sources at the Mass told EOTT that although Bunnell typically stayed toward the center of the aisle, that today, he was getting way too comfy, entering their personal space as he passed the mic around for congregants to answer what they thought of what Jesus meant by turning the other cheek.

At press time, Bunnell is squeezing through a tight pew to high-five a boy that said that Jesus meant that we should be nice to mean people and to love Jesus like the disciples did “in the times of Jesus.”