Man On Catholic Match About Ready To Message-Bomb 130 Women

Friends of longtime Catholic Match subscriber Chuck-50012 told authorities today that he was in the development stages of a mega-message bomb that could potentially hit 130 woman across the nation.

The 34-year-old web developer from San Luis Obispo, California reportedly told friends recently that he was just months away from unleashing a “love bomb” on the last 130 women on the popular dating site that he has not yet messaged.

“He’s clearly an unstable individual,” said longtime friend Greg Kraft. “We’re currently in the process of getting a hold of all 130 women he has not contacted yet to alert them of this man’s desperation.”

At press time, Catholic Match has banned Chuck-50012 from the site, just moments before he received his long awaited message from Kristin-51053.

Friends of Chuck-50012 have provided EOTT with a copy of the message template that is to be sent out within the next few days:

Hey there, you…

Out of curiosity, did it hurt?…when you fell from heaven?…like Satan? Haha just joking.  ; ). Seriously though, just wanted to let you know that I love your eyes in your prof pic. Model much, haha? Kinda curious…your eyes: sky blue or dark brown? Kinda hard for me to tell in the pic. One of each maybe? I’d like that. Unique. Anyhow, wanted to compliment how perfectly they sit in their sockets regardless of color. So…I know this’ our first conversation, but what’s going on between us, right? You’re probably thinking the same thing? Sparks? Not sure…all I know is that I’ve never felt like this before. Please, please, please write me back and let me know when I can come up to visit. The week before Easter and the following three after is the best time for me. That will give me enough time to get to know you and um, I don’t know…dum dum da duuum, dum dum da duuuum… : )

Chuck