Last Male Altar Server In U.S. Quits; No Longer Wants To Do Girls Job

The last male altar server in the United States has officially called it quits, the boy’s family is reporting this morning.

The 3-year altar server veteran, who remained at his post as cross bearer despite pressure from the community to wear heels or quit altogether, served his final Mass on Sunday morning.

Devin McAlister, who claims he was made fun of by friends at school for doing a “girls job” told EOTT that many in the community began to question his sexuality as the years went on.

“People used to say stuff,” McAlister said. “I could hear them saying things as I walked down the aisle. Every Mass, for instance, I would hear this guy poking fun at me, saying that the only reason I served was because I got to wear a dress. Or him saying things like ‘shouldn’t you be carrying a barbie doll?’ But it wasn’t always Father Brian who be picking on me…sometimes it was other people too.”

McAlister went on to say that he was, nevertheless, thankful for the time he spent serving the Mass, thanking his fellow servers for showing him how to be a better server and for teaching him what type of heals and sparkly makeup best complimented different cincture colors.

At press time, McAlister has joined the choir.