Cardinals Distancing Themselves From Pope Ahead Of Next Papal Election

Ahead of the next Papal Elections, many Cardinals have begun to distance themselves from the Pope, whose approval rating amongst traditional leaning Catholics is at an all-time low. As these Cardinals are beginning to focus on their possible election to the throne of St. Peter, they are increasingly calculating how close is too close to an unpopular Pope Francis. The Pope’s dismal poll ratings with traditional minded Catholics could sink many cardinal’s... Read More

Daylight Savings News: Sedevacantist Family Moves Clocks Back Seven Centuries

After having set the family clock back seven centuries for daylight savings this past weekend, patriarch of a local sedevacantist family told EOTT this morning that, although he was excited about moving the clock back to “a better time,” that it was still weird getting used to the time change. “Oh, it’s always weird trying to adjust to a time change,” said a sick Jeremy Miller as he tried to fight off a bout with the Black Plague. “Especially... Read More

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