Thomas Aquinas College Offering New Two-Year Program In The “Pretty Good Books”

Santa Paula, CA––Thomas Aquinas College in Santa Paula, California announced this week that they will be offering a new two-year program in the Pretty Good Books. The small liberal arts and sciences college, which is known for its fidelity to the Magisterium of the Catholic Church as well as its focus on Great Books, is now offering a new program designed for students whose minds are not yet quite prepared for the good books, let alone the great... Read More

Cardinal Says Women’s Ordination Makes Sense Because Church Could Pay Women Less To Minister

  Cardinal Sean O’Malley told reporters earlier today that his recent interview with 60 Minutes was difficult because he did not have time to fully delve into how insane his opinion was on the matter of women’s ordination. “I hope that one take-away from my 60 Minutes interview will be that cardinals, bishops and priests are human, and that we love the Church, and that we say really stupid things sometimes,” said the cardinal. “If you watch... Read More

Benedict Confirms Epic Kegger At Apostolic Palace During Francis Visit To U.S.

VATICAN– Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI confirmed Monday that he will make his first visit to the Apostolic Palace in September to host and attend a raging kegger. The news comes just hours after Pope Francis announced plans to attend a meeting on the family in Philadelphia, or as Benedict called it, “Snoozapalooza.” In a statement made to friends gathered Monday, Benedict said, “I wish to confirm that in September of 2015, I will throw the most... Read More

Pope Francis Not Sure How To Make Sense Of What He Just Said

VATICAN–Speaking to pilgrims during his weekly Wednesday audience yesterday, Pope Francis admitted that he was kind of having a hard time making any kind of sense whatsoever of what he just said. The Pontiff, who has been known to make off the cuff remarks in the past, told those gathered in St. Peter’s Square that what he just said was “admittedly kind of weird.” “I said what?” Francis asked those gathered. “There’s no way I just said... Read More

New “Crucifix For Her” Product Goes On Sale Just In Time For Christmas

For centuries overly masculine crucifixes dominated the Catholic market, but one company is set to change that by unveiling their all-new line of crucifixes made “just for her”. The product descriptions reads, Crucifix For Her has an elegant design – just for Her! It features a thin vertical beam designed to fit a women’s hand as she prays. Deeply sensational, totally feminine, and as contemporary as you are, this crucifix is never afraid... Read More

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