Man May Have Accidentally Skipped Bead; Begins Decade Over Again

Bridgeport, CT––After having lost himself in a daydream while saying the rosary earlier this morning, 34-year-old Bridgeport resident Luke Spencer awoke unsure of whether his thumb may have accidentally skipped a couple beads while simultaneously saying his rosary and dreaming about Japanese Snow Monkeys bathing in the hot springs of the mountainous region of Nagano, Japan. “At least I know what decade I’m on,” Spencer... Read More

Priest Announces He Enjoyed Reading Encyclical Divino Afflante Spiritu: Encyclical Of Pope Pius XII On Promoting Biblical Studies, Commemorating The Fiftieth Anniversary Of Providentissimus Deus To Our Venerable Brethren, Patriarchs, Archbishops, And Other Local Ordinaries Enjoying Peace And Communion With The Apostolic See

Milwaukee, WI––Father Robert Jennings of Milwaukee, Wisconsin announced to friends today that he thoroughly enjoyed reading the 1943 Papal Encyclical, Encyclical Divino Afflante Spiritu: Enclyclical Of Pope Pius XII On Promoting Biblical Studies, Commemorating The Fiftieth Anniversary Of Providentissimus Deus To Our Venerable Brethren, Patriarchs, Archbishops, And Other Local Ordinaries Enjoying Peace And Communion With The Apostolic See. “Divino... Read More

89-Year-Old Journalist Who Reconstructed Francis Interview From Memory Can’t Find His Teeth

ROME––After speculation began to circulate regarding the validity of a recent interview between journalist Eugenio Scalfari and Pope Francis published in La Repubblica, the Vatican confirmed yesterday that the interview was not taped, and that the 89-year-old journalist had not only “forgotten to take notes, but that he had also misplaced his teeth.” Just days after the interview was published, some in the Church reportedly began to question... Read More

After 26 Weeks Of Anticipation, 27th Sunday In Ordinary Time Just Around Corner

Thousands flock to St. Peter’s to reserve spots for Mass during the 27th Sunday in Ordinary Time. The Christian West––After 26 weeks of eager anticipation, it was reported today that hundreds of millions of Catholics from across the Christian West began preparations for this week’s long-awaited celebration of the 27th Sunday in Ordinary Time. “Really, outside of Christmas and Easter…and the feasts of the Assumption, Ascension,... Read More

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