Parishioner At The Back Of Long Confession Line Sure Is Optimistic

Brooklyn, NY–Walking to the back of a nauseatingly long confession line with only five minutes to go before Mass yesterday evening, an undeterred and naively optimistic Christopher Repin smiled and greeted penitents in front of him. “God bless you guys,” a cheerful and relaxed Repin told people around him as he held up two fingers in a peace sign for those near the front of the line. Sources say that Repin appeared so at ease in spite of his terrible chances of actually making it in that many parishioners, who were repeatedly and frantically checking their watches, just assumed he was “nuts,” and tried to avoid making eye contact with the confident freak. 31-year-old Bill Weber who was second in line told Eye of the Tiber that he initially chuckled to himself when he saw Repin actually get in line. “I looked at my watch then looked at the line and I was like please. I’m second up and just barely gonna make it. But the guy’s so cheerful and positive…as if he actually has a chance. Guy must be a wacko.” At press time, parishioners in line were relieved to see Repin glance at his watch.