Area Catholic Preparing To Be Notified About Dirt On Forehead All Day Long

Watertown, MN––While receiving ashes on his forehead at St. Ignatius Catholic Church in Watertown, Minnesota early this morning, area Catholic Trevor Davis fervently prayed for patience to endure what he expected to be a “long day filled with well-intentioned, yet obnoxious remarks” about the dirt on his forehead. “Look, here’s the deal,” he reportedly told St. Monica, the Patron Saint of Patience, as he returned to his pew. “I know it should be an opportunity to evangelize, but come on…we do this every year, and every year people act like it’s the first time they’ve ever seen a Catholic on Ash Wednesday?” Davis later went on to pray, asking his Guardian Angel to protect him from the horde of nominal Catholic friends that didn’t make it to Mass, and that were inevitably bound to ask him if he wouldn’t mind bumping heads just a bit. At press time, a nominal Catholic stranger at the local coffee shop was in the process of informing Davis that he had indeed completely forgotten about Ash Wednesday due to getting “smashed” on Mardi Gras.