Colorado Priest To Appoint Entire Parish Eucharistic Ministers

Loveland, CO––Saint Perpetua Parish Priest Father Nick Farley announced Friday that he would be appointing every single parishioner at his church an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion. “In due respect to the amount of Extraordinary Ministers needed per mass, the adage ought to be, more the merrier,” Farley said. Farley later proudly added that all of his current Extraordinary Ministers are so extraordinary that they are not only able to distribute, but to smile as they do so; an aptitude that, Farley believes, is imperative to proper distribution. “We don’t want people receiving Jesus from the hands of somber looking priest, you know? A happy Jesus should come from the happy hands of a happy minister.” When asked whether appointing an entire congregation Eucharistic Ministers was excessive, Farley responded, “Absolutely not…just as each Christian is entrusted an individual Guardian Angel, so then should they be entrusted their own individual Eucharistic Minister.”