Atheists Sue To Remove Letters “G”, “O”, And “D” From Alphabet

The civil liberties organization American Atheists has sued the U.S. government to remove the letters “G,” “O,” and “D” from the English alphabet, arguing that the letters “often come together in such an order as to promote a belief in God,” director of public relations Ronald Kegin said Friday. “The letters represent a violation of rights to many atheists around the country, in that the letters... Read More

Archbishop Gerhard Müller To LCWR Nuns: “Shhh!”

VATICAN––Prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith Archbishop Gerhard Müller met with leaders of the Leadership Conference of Women Religious this week. The meeting had been requested by the LCWR to address what they called deficiencies in regards to the doctrinal assessment of their organization released by the CDF in April. “We were hoping for a more open discussion about our issues,” former LCWR president Pat Farrell... Read More

17-Year-Old Homeschool Boy Solves Mystery Of Trinity While Mother Combs His Hair

Portland, OR––According to the Brandt family, moments ago, 17-year-old homeschooler Jake Brandt has solved the greatest mystery known to man. Brandt, who had just gotten out of the shower, reportedly worked out and solved the mystery of the Holy Trinity while his mother, Cherry Brandt, tried, furiously, to comb down a few stubborn hairs on the back of his head. “Funny thing is, he’s not even the smartest kid on the block,” she told Eye of the... Read More

Man Found Dead After Botched Homily

A man whose body was found in a pew at St. Cecila’s Church Friday died from blunt trauma to the heart, the San Bernardino County medical examiners office found after autopsies performed this morning. “We can’t say much at this time,” one examiner said at a press conference  “but what we can say is that the cause of death wasn’t trauma to the actual, physical heart, itself, but to its very nature…the essence... Read More

Catholic Democrat Makes Holy Hour Before The Real Presence Of Obama

Ardent Catholic Democrat Gordon Frey arrived at the Church of the Sacred Heart of Obama for his scheduled Holy Hour earlier monday morning. 56-year-old Frey appeared in good spirits as he entered the adoration chapel, going down on both knees and uttering the customary words, “My president and my god.” “I’ve been coming here since they began adoration in ’08,” Frey said. “I feel like it gives me perspective after... Read More

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