People Preparing McCarrick Report Same People As Counting Votes In Nevada
After days of ballot counting in Nevada, officials from the state revealed earlier this morning that they were, in fact, the same people that were... Read More
Mass
Eucharistic Minister Sanitizing Hell Out Of Hands Before Distributing Communion
Local Eucharistic Minister Courtney Smith has been sanitizing the living hell out her hands for the past two minutes in preparation to distribute Holy Communion, parishioners are reporting. According to parishioners at the 9:30 morning Mass... Read More
Vatican Approves New Emoji Translation Of Mass
The Vatican announced today that Pope Francis has approved a new emoji translation of the Mass to help young adults more actively follow along during church services. “We’ve found that most young adults can no longer read complete sentences... Read More
Parishioner Agnes Day Excited About New Vatican Crackdown On Her Name
Manchester, NH––For over 40 years, Agnes Day, parishioner at St. Luke Parish, has quietly suffered what she called “decades of unnecessary adaptations to her name.” Day, a daily communicant, told Eye of the Tiber how decades... Read More
“Extraordinary Mass Should Not Be The Norm,” Extraordinary Minister Of Holy Communion Reporting
Pigeon Forge, Tennessee––Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion Ernest Robbins is reporting to friends and family that the Extraordinary Form of the Liturgy “should never become the norm,” but that it should “remain... Read More
View All Articles in this Category...
Libs & Trads
NASA Discovers Earth-like Planet That Could Support Maryknoll Fathers
NASA astronomers today revealed that they have discovered an Earth-like planet close to 600 light years away that might be able to sustain the Maryknoll Fathers... Read More
Black Sheep Dog, John Corapi, Issues Apology
Hudson, NY––Former S.O.L.T. priest, John Corapi, has apologized today for what he called a “negligent and insensitive decision.” On June 7th, 2011,... Read More
Man Angry That Only Women Can Become Female Priests
Florence Hensley and companions minutes after practicing mass Medford, OR––Speaking at a Women’s Rights group at the home of fellow parishioner Florence... Read More
Report: LA Religious Education Congress Nothing But Big Fat Load Of Bull
Despite positive reviews from the committee overseeing this year’s Los Angeles Religious Education Congress, a new report out today by EOTT found that virtually... Read More
View All Articles in this Category...
Politics
Lila Rose Goes Undercover As Fetus
In an astounding show of acting dexterity, Lila Rose, President of the... Read More
Italian Doctor Prescribes Israel, Palestine High Dose Of Chill Pill
ROME––At the request of Pope Benedict XVI, Rome’s foremost family counselor Dr. Umberto... Read More
New Terrorist Video Shows Christians Being Served Coffee In Red Cups
A new terrorist video put out today by Starbucks shows the latest batch... Read More
Local Christian Still Pretty Hopeful Abortion Soon To Be Banned After Brett Kavanaugh Sides With Planned Parenthood
Telling fellow parishioners that even though Brett Kavanaugh for... Read More
View All Articles in this Category...
Vatican
Curia Surprises Francis with One-Way Ticket to Buenos Aires
Roman Curia officials pulled out all the stops this year to celebrate the 4th anniversary... Read More
Pope Francis Names Archbishop Cupich As His Successor
Image: Goat_Girl The Vatican announced this week that Chicago Archbishop Blase Cupich... Read More
Pope Francis Not Sure How To Make Sense Of What He Just Said
VATICAN–Speaking to pilgrims during his weekly Wednesday audience yesterday,... Read More
Benedict XVI: “The Entire Vial Of Blood, Including Reliquary, Would’ve Liquefied If I Was Holding It”
Just days after St. Gennaro’s blood liquefied after Pope Francis kissed the... Read More