People Preparing McCarrick Report Same People As Counting Votes In Nevada

After days of ballot counting in Nevada, officials from the state revealed earlier this morning that they were, in fact, the same people that were... Read More

Mass

Area Catholic Preparing To Be Notified About Dirt On Forehead All Day Long

Watertown, MN––While receiving ashes on his forehead at St. Ignatius Catholic Church in Watertown, Minnesota early this morning, area Catholic Trevor Davis fervently prayed for patience to endure what he expected to be a “long day... Read More

ICEL Calls For All-Meme Missal Translation For Youth Masses

Citing a need for the Church to “reach out to its estranged youth,” the International Commission on English in the Liturgy requested, and has already begun intensive work on, an all-meme edition of the Roman Missal. Representatives from... Read More

“Extraordinary Mass Should Not Be The Norm,” Extraordinary Minister Of Holy Communion Reporting

Pigeon Forge, Tennessee––Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion Ernest Robbins is reporting to friends and family that the Extraordinary Form of the Liturgy “should never become the norm,” but that it should “remain... Read More

Developing: Sick Man Attempting To Shake Your Hand During Sign Of Peace

Fort Worth, TX––It is being reported this second that the sick man who has been violently coughing into his hands all Mass has been feverishly trying to get your attention to shake hands during the Sign of Peace. “I already threw... Read More

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Libs & Trads

New Study: Sedevacantists Feeling Our Pain…A Lot

Oyster Bay Cove, NY–A new study out today by the Society of St. Pius V reveals that 85% of its members are currently feeling the pain of non-sedevacantist... Read More

Local Rad Trad Gives Wife Permission To Receive Communion

  Admitting that his wife had done a “fairly good job” being subservient to him this week, local SSPV man Randall Thomas acknowledged Wednesday that he... Read More

Woman Who Believes Church Has No Respect For Women Can’t Wait To See Fifty Shades Of Grey

South Jordan, UT––Citing the Catholic Church’s centuries old “tradition” of misogyny and overall hatred toward women, local Catholic Debra Wilhelm told... Read More

Report: Mahony’s Pretty Much Got This Pope Thing In The Bag

“The only question that remains is what name he shall take.” VATICAN CITY–The Italian Newspaper La Rupubblica is reporting today that a member... Read More

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Politics

Local Priest Approves Transgender Confessionals

Pastor of St. Vitus Catholic Church Father David Hitchens said Wednesday... Read More

Trump Overturns Roe v. Wade

Image: Gage Skidmore Just a day after Donald Trump shocked the world by... Read More

Francis Writes Emotional Letter To Nike Executives Thanking Them For Taking Spotlight Off Him

  Pope Francis has reportedly sent an emotional letter to executives... Read More

Trump Reportedly No Longer Considering Pope Francis As Running Mate

Close to a week after presidential nominee Donald Trump called Mexicans... Read More

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Vatican

Man Whose Every Word Is Misrepresented Thinks 12,000 Word Interview A Good Idea

VATICAN––It was reported earlier this week that an outgoing Argentinian born... Read More

Prisoners Break Free From Lunch With Pope To Return To Prison

Image_Michael Coghlan   Two prisoners in Bologna, Italy escaped during their... Read More

Pope Warns Warmongers One Last Time Before Unleashing His Vengeance

Image: Andrew Hermiz   After celebrating the Feast of All Souls Day last week,... Read More

EWTN Set To Premiere New Epic Series, Game Of Papal Thrones

Image: Andrew Hermiz There was some exciting news for Game of Thrones fans who also... Read More

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