People Preparing McCarrick Report Same People As Counting Votes In Nevada
After days of ballot counting in Nevada, officials from the state revealed earlier this morning that they were, in fact, the same people that were... Read More
Mass
Area Catholic Preparing To Be Notified About Dirt On Forehead All Day Long
Watertown, MN––While receiving ashes on his forehead at St. Ignatius Catholic Church in Watertown, Minnesota early this morning, area Catholic Trevor Davis fervently prayed for patience to endure what he expected to be a “long day... Read More
ICEL Calls For All-Meme Missal Translation For Youth Masses
Citing a need for the Church to “reach out to its estranged youth,” the International Commission on English in the Liturgy requested, and has already begun intensive work on, an all-meme edition of the Roman Missal. Representatives from... Read More
“Extraordinary Mass Should Not Be The Norm,” Extraordinary Minister Of Holy Communion Reporting
Pigeon Forge, Tennessee––Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion Ernest Robbins is reporting to friends and family that the Extraordinary Form of the Liturgy “should never become the norm,” but that it should “remain... Read More
Developing: Sick Man Attempting To Shake Your Hand During Sign Of Peace
Fort Worth, TX––It is being reported this second that the sick man who has been violently coughing into his hands all Mass has been feverishly trying to get your attention to shake hands during the Sign of Peace. “I already threw... Read More
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Libs & Trads
New Study: Sedevacantists Feeling Our Pain…A Lot
Oyster Bay Cove, NY–A new study out today by the Society of St. Pius V reveals that 85% of its members are currently feeling the pain of non-sedevacantist... Read More
Local Rad Trad Gives Wife Permission To Receive Communion
Admitting that his wife had done a “fairly good job” being subservient to him this week, local SSPV man Randall Thomas acknowledged Wednesday that he... Read More
Woman Who Believes Church Has No Respect For Women Can’t Wait To See Fifty Shades Of Grey
South Jordan, UT––Citing the Catholic Church’s centuries old “tradition” of misogyny and overall hatred toward women, local Catholic Debra Wilhelm told... Read More
Report: Mahony’s Pretty Much Got This Pope Thing In The Bag
“The only question that remains is what name he shall take.” VATICAN CITY–The Italian Newspaper La Rupubblica is reporting today that a member... Read More
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Politics
Local Priest Approves Transgender Confessionals
Pastor of St. Vitus Catholic Church Father David Hitchens said Wednesday... Read More
Trump Overturns Roe v. Wade
Image: Gage Skidmore Just a day after Donald Trump shocked the world by... Read More
Francis Writes Emotional Letter To Nike Executives Thanking Them For Taking Spotlight Off Him
Pope Francis has reportedly sent an emotional letter to executives... Read More
Trump Reportedly No Longer Considering Pope Francis As Running Mate
Close to a week after presidential nominee Donald Trump called Mexicans... Read More
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Vatican
Man Whose Every Word Is Misrepresented Thinks 12,000 Word Interview A Good Idea
VATICAN––It was reported earlier this week that an outgoing Argentinian born... Read More
Prisoners Break Free From Lunch With Pope To Return To Prison
Image_Michael Coghlan Two prisoners in Bologna, Italy escaped during their... Read More
Pope Warns Warmongers One Last Time Before Unleashing His Vengeance
Image: Andrew Hermiz After celebrating the Feast of All Souls Day last week,... Read More
EWTN Set To Premiere New Epic Series, Game Of Papal Thrones
Image: Andrew Hermiz There was some exciting news for Game of Thrones fans who also... Read More