USCCB Announces Publication Of New Mad Libs Missal

In hopes of providing the nation’s Catholic priests a way to follow the Missal, while at the same time preserving the creative outlet some need to prevent boredom, the USCCB announced today the publication of an all-new Mad Libs Roman Missal. The new Missal, due out next month, allows the presiding priest to insert the adverbs and adjectives he feels best fits the mood of that particular day. “There’s... Read More

USCCB Restricts Free Spread Of Lumen Fidei; “Just Like St. Paul Did With Book Of Galations.”

Washington, DC––Just a week after the USCCB accused popular Catholic blogger and writer Brandon Vogt of “violating civil and moral law” and stealing from the Pope for making available Pope Francis’ new encyclical as a free download, USCCB officials are now stepping up efforts to justify their stance. In a written statement to the press late last night, an anonymous Bishop... Read More

Every Holy Day Of Obligation On Liturgical Calendar Deferred To Easter

    A spokesman for the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops announced today that beginning this Saturday evening, every holy day of obligation listed on the Liturgical Calender, including Sundays, would from here on be deferred to Easter. The announcement came as welcomed news to many Catholics who found the near-impossible obligations imposed on them by their bishops simply too... Read More

USCCB To Consider Implementing Challenge Flags And Instant Replays During Masses

“Parishioners are challenging the orthodoxy of the homily.” Washington, D.C.–As bishops from across the country gather in Washington, D.C. this weekend for the annual USCCB Liturgical Conference, many within the Church are speculating about rumors that U.S. bishops may vote on a proposal to implement instant replay for every Mass starting in 2014. The idea of using instant... Read More

Nation’s Catholics Demand Better Catechesis To Better Understand What Teachings To Ignore

Washington, DC––Thousands of the nation’s ill-catechized Catholics protested outside the USCCB headquarters in Washington, DC last night, demanding better catechesis so as to better understand what Church teachings they are going to continue to ignore. 24-year-old Tanya Wilkins who spearheaded the protest told reporters that she feels the need for better catechesis because she had... Read More

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