Possible Liturgical Wreckage Spotted In Search For Missing Tabernacle

Austin, TX–Norwegian has become one of the first men to reach the area where possible debris from the missing tabernacle at St. Jude Catholic Church was spotted yesterday. The man arrived at the search zone near the janitors stock room after several parishioners noticed skid marks on the ground leading from the sanctuary to a closet located directly near the restroom. St. Jude spokesman... Read More

Man Dressed As Tabernacle At Halloween Party Ignored; Is Moved To Corner Of Room

According to reports from several eyewitnesses moments ago, 27-year-old Emmanuel Dickens, who showed up to a Halloween party dressed as his favorite tabernacle, was promptly ignored and escorted to the corner of the room. The party’s host Thomas Martin told EOTT that having Dickens there was “for some reason just kinda putting a damper on the fellowship thing” he was going for. “It’s... Read More

Parishioners Mystified By Sudden Appearance Of Mysterious, Shiny Golden Box

Just weeks after being appointed a new young pastor, parishioners at St. Agatha Catholic Church were baffled this morning when they saw a large, gold, “magical box-looking thingy” sitting directly behind the altar as they entered church. “Well, we all walked in to church this morning and saw this golden box placed right where our old pastor, Fr. Rick, sat during the Mass,”... Read More