Cardinal Kaspar Opposes Resettlement Of Traditionalist Refugees In Home Diocese

Cardinal Walter Kaspar’s anger over resettlement of ultra-traditionalist priests into his dioceses took a new turn Thursday as a growing number of German bishops rushed to oppose Church conservatives’ plan to resettle some 50 SSPX “refugees.” Five German bishops vowed to block the entry of Society of Pope Pius X priests into their dioceses, arguing that the safety of a “more open Church”... Read More

SSPX Vehemently Protesting Canonization of St. Peter

VATICAN––Members of the Society of St. Pius X have stormed the internet and radio waves in violent protest against the upcoming canonization of Pope Simon Peter I. The backlash was worse than expected by the Holy See, and the protesters have not pulled any punches. One commentator on a popular tridentine website morecatholicthanthepope.com wrote, “This is the guy who denied Christ three... Read More

Disobedient SSPV Woman Wearing Shoes In Kitchen

Fillmore, NY–Local member of the Society of St. Pius V Marisa Conti reported Tuesday that she planned to wear shoes in the kitchen despite a recent ruling by SSPV and her husband rejecting her request to wear shoes into the kitchen. “You know…putting on a pair of shoes before entering the kitchen will most certainly be the single most exhilarating moment of my life. I’m... Read More

Müller To Build Vatican II Theme Park

VATICAN–Speaking to the press Wednesday afternoon, Prefect of the Congregation of the Doctrine of Faith Archbishop Gerhard Ludwig Müller announced plans to create the first ever Vatican II theme park. “We’re very thrilled about the opportunities that the theme park will bring to the Church. In particular, we’re excited to see how it may become a tool for fostering... Read More

SSPX Acolyte Stumbles During Offertory; Mass Deemed Invalid

Tempe, AZ––12-year-old acolyte Jake Brody atoned for his sin Sunday for having negligently stumbled on his way to the altar earlier that morning. The Mass was immediately stopped when the presiding priest, Robert Dillard, deemed it no longer valid. “It was just a mistake, I understand,” Dillard admitted, but explained that stumbling did not appear anywhere in the 1962 missal.... Read More

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