Atheists Sue To Remove Letters “G”, “O”, And “D” From Alphabet

The civil liberties organization American Atheists has sued the U.S. government to remove the letters “G,” “O,” and “D” from the English alphabet, arguing that the letters “often come together in such an order as to promote a belief in God,” director of public relations Ronald Kegin said Friday. “The letters represent a violation of rights... Read More

Catholic Democrat Makes Holy Hour Before The Real Presence Of Obama

Ardent Catholic Democrat Gordon Frey arrived at the Church of the Sacred Heart of Obama for his scheduled Holy Hour earlier monday morning. 56-year-old Frey appeared in good spirits as he entered the adoration chapel, going down on both knees and uttering the customary words, “My president and my god.” “I’ve been coming here since they began adoration in ’08,”... Read More

Audience Of Undecideds Patiently Await Good Zinger To Decide Their Vote

Mike Segar/Reuters After patiently enduring a 90-minute presidential debate last night, undecided voters at Hofstra University in Long Island were left wanting after lackluster zinger performances by both presidential candidates. For an hour and a half, undecided voters anxiously waited for either of the candidates to make just one quick-witted, in-your-face zinger that would once and for all... Read More

Obama Invited To Say Mass At Notre Dame

Southbend, IN––Three years after Notre Dame invited Barack Obama to deliver the commencement speech to its graduating class, the university has now reportedly invited him to say Mass at the Basilica of the Sacred Heart. “We’d like to let our students and their parents know that we would never compromise our faith tradition,” Notre Dame President, Reverend John Jenkins,... Read More

Pope’s Address to Syrians in Lebanon: “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things!”

Beirut, Lebanon––Speaking to tens of thousands of Middle Easterners in Lebanon this Sunday, Pope Benedict XVI expressed sadness at the latest violence in the region. Speaking directly to the Syrians watching on TV, and in person, the Pontiff said that he was very disappointed in them. “How many times have I told you to keep your hands to yourselves? This is why we can’t keep nice... Read More

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