People Preparing McCarrick Report Same People As Counting Votes In Nevada

After days of ballot counting in Nevada, officials from the state revealed earlier this morning that they were, in fact, the same people that were... Read More

Mass

“Our Father” Ringtone Conveniently Goes Off During “Our Father,” Keeping Everyone In Key

Topeka, KS–According to sources at Our Lady Star of the Sea Parish in Topeka, Kansas, a phone belonging to an unidentified person went off early Sunday morning during the Our Father, despite the pastor’s repeated requests that... Read More

Report: Priest Doing That Stupid Thing Where He Walks Up And Down Aisle During Homily

Image: ChipSomodevilla/Getty Images Europe   Being asked about how their weekends were going, parishioners at St. Luke Parish announced Sunday that Fr. Todd Bunnell was, yet again, leaving the podium and making his way down to the aisle... Read More

There Was Certainly A Point During My Clown Mass When I Thought, “What The Hell Am I Doing?”

Pastor of St. Genesius Catholic Church Fr. Edmond Harrington confirmed this afternoon that at one point during his first ever Clown Mass, he looked down at his oversized checkered shoes as he was praying and thought to himself, “Edmond,... Read More

New State-Of-The-Art Church Promises Comforts Of The Future

LONDON––A new state-of-the-art church in London opened today with Christmas/Easter size crowds eager for an opportunity to experience the next generation of churches. St. Joseph Cupertino Parish pastor Roger O’Malley gave Eye of... Read More

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Libs & Trads

Black Sheep Dog, John Corapi, Issues Apology

Hudson, NY––Former S.O.L.T. priest, John Corapi, has apologized today for what he called a “negligent and insensitive decision.” On June 7th, 2011,... Read More

Rad Trad Woman Just Wants A Good Man Who’s Willing To Wait Till Marriage Before Flagellating

Local SSPV woman Deanna Russell confessed to friends late last night that all she wanted in life was a good and holy man who was willing to wait till marriage before... Read More

Diversity The Greatest Moral Virtue, New Study Finds

According to a new study out today by Georgetown University’s Department of Theology, the theological and moral virtues are no longer the only virtues for attaining... Read More

Catholic Answers Begins Promoting Alyssa Milano’s New Chastity Talk

Catholic Answers announced this past Saturday that they will begin promoting their new lineup of chastity speakers, including Alyssa Milano, in an effort to... Read More

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Politics

Trump Reportedly No Longer Considering Pope Francis As Running Mate

Close to a week after presidential nominee Donald Trump called Mexicans... Read More

Around The Clock Coverage As Tens Of People March To Protect European Starling Bird Eggs

European Starling eggs. Washington, DC–MSNBC has announced that they... Read More

Pope’s Address to Syrians in Lebanon: “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things!”

Beirut, Lebanon––Speaking to tens of thousands of Middle Easterners... Read More

Last Remaining Christian Living In Jerusalem Excited About Papal Visit

JERUSALEM–Just a day before Pope Francis makes his first Papal Visit... Read More

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Vatican

Members Of Roman Curia Flood Michael Voris With Invitations To Visit Vatican

Image: WikiCommons Just days after Catholic internet personality Michael Voris revealed... Read More

Many Disappointed First-Ever Black, Jewish, Woman, Lesbian Pope Not Elected

  A Catholic Argentinian Man VATICAN–Sadness and a general sense of ennui... Read More

Pope Francis Declares Death Unacceptable In All Cases

Pope Francis decreed yesterday that death is “inadmissible” under all... Read More

[News From The Future] Martians Protest During Third Vatican Council

Martians from the northern quadrant of sector 490-3t protesting. New Calcedonia,... Read More

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