Catholic Answers Runs Out Of Questions; To Close Its Doors In May

San Diego, CA–It was officially announced today that after 25 years, the largest lay-run Catholic apostolate for evangelization and apologetics in the United States Catholic Answers is closing its doors for good this May. The decision to shut down the apostolate was revealed on a live broadcast of The World Over with Raymond Arroyo last week when, during the break, Catholic Answers Founder and President Karl Keating was caught on a hot... Read More

USCCB To Consider Implementing Challenge Flags And Instant Replays During Masses

“Parishioners are challenging the orthodoxy of the homily.” Washington, D.C.–As bishops from across the country gather in Washington, D.C. this weekend for the annual USCCB Liturgical Conference, many within the Church are speculating about rumors that U.S. bishops may vote on a proposal to implement instant replay for every Mass starting in 2014. The idea of using instant replay cameras during Mass was first proposed in 2009 by then... Read More

Protestant Friend Knows All He Needs To Know About Catholic Church

Orange County, CA–Area Protestant Ezekial Atkinson reported earlier this morning that he didn’t need a lecture on Church teaching because he “already knows everything he needs to know about the Catholic Church.” The stunning revelation came just moments after longtime Catholic friend Gerald Prescott asked Atkinson whether he ever considered that he [Atkinson] might not actually hate the Church as much as he thinks,... Read More

Chuck-50012 Still Desperately Awaiting Response From Kristin-51053 On Catholic Match

San Luis Obispo, CA––After drawing international fame last November for his heartfelt message to fellow Catholic Match member Kristin-51053, Chuck-50012 has expressed disappointment to friends and family after not receiving a response for over four months now. The 31-year-old California based web developer told Eye of the Tiber that since writing Kristin-51053 he has spent endless hours saying novenas to St. Raphael. “I must’ve said hundreds... Read More

[News From The Future] Martians Protest During Third Vatican Council

Martians from the northern quadrant of sector 490-3t protesting. New Calcedonia, Mars––Thousands of New Calcedonian martians from the northern quadrant of sector 490-3t protested outside New St. Peter’s today as bishops began talks on a number of heated issues including inter-species marriage and receiving communion in the pinchers. “The faithful and bishops alike are hoping to cover all the core issues that the average Catholic martian... Read More

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