Pope Francis To Investigate Roman Curia On TV Show “Undercover Boss”

ROME–Executives from CBS confirmed Wednesday that Chief Executive Officer of The One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church Pope Francis would be appearing in this season’s finale of the hit television show Undercover Boss. The finale, slated to appear in late May, will feature the Pontiff taking on an alias and fictional backstory as he navigates his way through different parts of the Vatican in an attempt to investigate the inner... Read More

Renovation Construction for Rio Shuttlecock Cathedral Nearing Completion

A before and after image of the soon to be fully renovated Shuttlecock Cathedral in Rio. RIO DE JANEIRO––As construction efforts to renovate Rio De Janeiro’s cathedral into a multi-purpose worship/badminton arena continue this month, sightseers from across the globe are flocking to the second-largest city in Brazil to witness the unique transformation. As both World You Day and 2016 Summer Olympics draw near, the Catedral Metropolitano de... Read More

New Text Message Mass All The Rage At Gonzaga University

Spokane, Washington–Expressing sadness for the lack of attention from parishioners during Sunday Masses, Gonzaga University priest Fr. John Conti has recently instituted an all new “Text-Message-Only Mass.” The Gonzaga graduate who just celebrated his 15th anniversary of priesthood told reporters that the idea came to him as he sat listening to the deacon read the epistle. “I looked out and saw all these college kids reading texts... Read More

Pope Francis Not Sure What To Make Of His Papacy Thus Far

VATICAN CITY––It was announced earlier this afternoon that His Holiness Pope Francis was at a complete and utter loss about what to make of his papacy thus far. The 76-year-old Pontiff told Eye of the Tiber that he had been mulling over the question privately for some time now, but that he had hesitated about asking out of fear that he might appear to be a “bad” Catholic. “I don’t know, I guess it all started when I was up... Read More

Media Ignores Murder Trial of Abortionist who Severed Spines of Infants 19 Years After Their Birth

Dr. Kermit Gosnell Minneapolis, MN–The mainstream media is largely ignoring what may turn out to be an historic murder trial. Dr. Kermit Gosnell, an abortion doctor working outside of Minneapolis, is on trial for murder for dozens of botched abortions in which the infant were born, lived until after their nineteenth birthday, and then were aborted. A former patient of Gosnell’s, who asked to remain anonymous, told Eye of the Tiber her story:... Read More

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