Pope’s Announcement Regarding Potentially Allowing Married Men To Enter Priesthood Gives Hope To Nation’s Chalice Chippers

November 2, 2017 by  
Filed under Vatican

  Pope Francis has reportedly taken the first step in allowing married men to become priests, and in so doing, giving hope to chalice chippers worldwide. If the decision to allow married men to enter the priesthood is approved, the result could cause controversy in the Church, as many conservatives would see this as a lazy way of tempting men into the priesthood so that they will not have to give up the chance of ever having sex to become a priest,... Read More

Protestants Worldwide Venerate Statue Of Martin Luther In Honor Of Reformation Day

November 1, 2017 by  
Filed under Libs & Trads

Image_Jorge Royan   Protestants from across the globe flocked to Wittenberg, Germany Tuesday to venerate a statue of Martin Luther in honor of the 500th anniversary of the Protestant Reformation. Many in the Lutheran and Lutheran-leaning community including pastor of Torrential Downpour Church Morgan Kremin attended ceremonies that started with a morning veneration of the statue of Martin Luther located near All Saints’ Church in Wittenberg and... Read More

Catholic Costume Stores Across Country Reveal Most Popular Halloween Costume Is Slutty Mark Shea

October 31, 2017 by  
Filed under Parish Life

  As time runs out to pick the perfect Halloween costume, costume stores across the country have confirmed that this year’s most popular Catholic costume is a slutty Mark Shea. Employees of Seattle’s Halloween Express are working overtime to keep the shelves stocked for last minute shoppers. “It’s been insane this year crazy,” Halloween Express owner Tom Weaver told EOTT. “Slut is in. Everything from slutty Marty Haugen... Read More

Following Mark Wahlberg’s lead, Kevin James asks God to forgive him for “Paul Blart: Mall Cop”

October 25, 2017 by  
Filed under Parish Life

  Just days after actor Mark Wahlberg statement that he regretted portraying a porn star in Boogie Nights, fellow Catholic actor Kevin James announced today that he hopes God wouldn’t hold the movie Paul Blart: Mall Cop against him. James told EOTT this afternoon that he hopes “that God is not a movie fan and also forgiving” because he says he’s made some “poor choices” over the years. Among those movies James listed were,... Read More

Brother Scores Hot Date With Sister To Homeschool Prom

October 24, 2017 by  
Filed under Parish Life

  Nebraska homeschooler Jimmy White was overjoyed early Tuesday morning when his sister Jenna White accepted his proposal to go to homeschool prom with him. The homeschool senior told EOTT that he was nervous thinking about how embarrassed he would be if his sister rejected him. “I had butterflies all week,” Jimmy White told EOTT as he pointed at Jenna (who has an uncanny resemblance to her older brother) from across the room. “All I kept imagining... Read More

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