Pope Sees Own Shadow; Predicts Six More Decades Of Francis Papacy
The world’s most famous pope foresees no early end to his papacy. The Pope’s handlers announced Friday that Pope Francis had seen his own shadow earlier that day. Legend has it that if the furry Pope casts a shadow on the feast of St. Agatha, the people of the world are to expect no less that six more decades of the Francis papacy, or at least Francis-like papacy. “It’s really a cool thing to see,” said Alice Moya, just one of the hundreds... Read More
Vatican Shuts Down After Liberals, Rad Trads Can’t Come To An Agreement
Ricardo André Frantz Hundreds of thousands of priests from around the world have either been sent back to the rectory or have been told to not show up to say Masses today as clerical furloughs took affect midnight due to the Vatican shutdown. Cardinal Robert Sarah delivered an ominous warning to cardinals gathered at the Vatican this morning, saying that “The shutdown is going to get a lot worse tomorrow if the Pope doesn’t act immediately.” Essential... Read More
Recreational Heresy Now Officially Legal in California Parishes
Roman Catholic dioceses in California began allowing recreational heresy Monday in what has been seen as a milestone in the mainstreaming of dissent. Lines formed outside churches licensed to allow heresy hours before Mass and CCD times, and RCIA teachers said they had stocked up in expectation of huge demand for new types of heresy. “There’re bigger crowds here than I saw at all the Christmas masses put together this year,” said pastor... Read More
Nuns That Started Christian Rock Band Somehow Considered Inspiring
December 13, 2017 by Admin
Filed under Parish Life
The new all-nun rock band known as “Guns N’ Rosaries” took the stage yesterday in front of a packed house at St. John of the Cross Catholic Church where they, for some unfathomable reason, inspired all those in attendance. The Bolivian nuns, who, let’s be serious here for a minute, are kinda embarrassing to watch and to listen to because it’s weird watching nuns pretending to be rock stars in the same way that it would be weird watching... Read More
Pope: “Harry Potter And The Sorcerer’s Stone Is Also Badly Translated”
Credit: Malacañang Photo Bureau Pope Francis has called for the renaming of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, saying current translations that changed it from the original “Philosopher’s Stone” to “Sorcerer’s Stone” does not make sense. Read by millions of people across the world, the young adult fantasy novel has become a staple read in many homes. But in a recent interview, Pope Francis said that the word “Sorcerer”... Read More