Limiting Parishioners To 10 Per Mass No Problem For Local Diocese

Telling his flock that their state ordinance limiting the amount of parishioners that can be inside a church at any given time to ten was “absolutely no problem whatsoever” for their diocese, local bishop Robert McDowell reportedly said that the ordinance could limit that number to five for all he cared and it still wouldn’t have that much of an impact.

“Not a problem at all,” McDowell said in a livestream message late Thursday afternoon. “You know what I call ten parishioners at a Mass? A complete and overwhelming success. If anything, this ordinance really just helps put us on a level playing field with some other more conservative dioceses.”

McDowell said that he hoped that parishioners from neighboring dioceses would be forced to come to his when they were at capacity.

“This is really a win-win if you think about it. I really think this is our shot. This is our chance to win over the youth with the amount of cool and hip interments we play during the Mass. It’ll be like they’re at home listening to Hootie and the Blowfish or Dave Matthews Band on their discman, when all along, they’re really experiencing the most beautiful thing anyone can experience––communion with one’s neighbor.