People Preparing McCarrick Report Same People As Counting Votes In Nevada

After days of ballot counting in Nevada, officials from the state revealed earlier this morning that they were, in fact, the same people that were preparing the Vatican report on the former cardinal, Theodore McCarrick.

“What can we say, we’re doing our best,” one state official told the press as he placed a ballot down and counted one Mississippi , two Mississippi, three Mississippi, until finally reaching 20 and slowly reaching for the next ballot.

“To answer everyone’s question, yes, we’re usually stationed at the Vatican where we work on everything of utmost importance. It’s our duty to uphold the Vatican centuries-old standards of bureaucracy, red tape, and dilly dally. So when officials from the state of Nevada called us to help count ballots for the election, we thought it would be the perfect opportunity to not only slow down the ballot counting effort, but to delay, yet again, the release of the McCarrick Report.”

“We’re definitely not trying to hide anything,” said one anonymous ballot counter. “Trust me, we wanna know who won the election as well as expose McCarrick for the sexual predator he is as much as the next person, but there are standards and traditions that must be uphold above all else.”

At press time officials say that after the election and McCarrick Report, they hope to be able to take a look at “the Third Secret of Fatima stuff.”