Pandemic-Stricken World Braces For Another Francis Encyclical

Catholics from across the globe braced themselves Monday after sources inside the Vatican revealed that the Pope Francis was working on yet another encyclical.

“Catholics should be preparing themselves,” one inside Vatican source told EOTT. “I cannot emphasize enough just how well prepared we need to be. With the sustained isolation many of us are going through because of Covid, I fear that some may have time to read the encyclical.”

Desperate to contain the upcoming encyclical, many conservative dioceses have been tightening restrictions on what their parishioners can and can not read.

“Francis’ encyclicals do not care about race or color. They nauseate indiscriminately. Therefore we must all be vigilant and watchful. We ask everyone with weakened constitutions to remain outdoors and away from bookstores or the internet. We also urge those who come in contact with the encyclical to self isolate.”