Catholic Apologist With Fear Of Public Speaking Pictures Everyone In Audience With Bare Shoulders

Just seconds after walking on stage for his new talk on Mary, local Catholic apologist and glossophopic Jason O’Connor closed his eyes and pictured everyone in attendance with their shoulders bare in a desperate attempt to stop him from hyperventilating.  

“It was really bad,” O’Connor told EOTT shortly after his talk. “It’s always bad, really. I get up there on to the sanctuary and I begin to feel real hot and begin to sweat, so recently a Fraternity priest friend recommended that I begin picturing my audience without a shawl or anything to cover their shoulders while inside the church. He told me that it could help me feel that the audience is as vulnerable as I am. I gotta be honest—it works.”

“What’s more embarrassing than having your naked shoulders showing in plain sight of every man during Mass?” Fr. Tomas Gonzalez said. “So when you go at it with that mindset as a speaker, it’s really like they, the ones in the audience, are the ones that should be self-conscious in front of you.”

At press time, O’Connor is struggling with a talk he’s giving at a liberal Catholic parish where everyone is already bare shouldered.